Mental Post-Its

Thoughts, Notes, and General Mental Mayhem

Category Archives: Christianity


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Sponsoring Hope

I did something last Sunday night that I’ve wanted to do for several years now…sponsor a child through World Vision (www.worldvision.com). Take a look at Claudine’s adorable, little face. It’s just about the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen. Yep, I’m already in love.

Just a little about her…
Claudine is from the Democratic Republic of Congo, former Zaire. She just turned five a couple of weeks ago. She lives with her mother and one sister. Her mother works in the agriculture industry. She loves to play with dolls and she runs errands for her family as her primary chore. Her health is satisfactory.

Reading those stats, you wouldn’t really understand the reason I chose her from all the other precious faces. But if you aren’t too familiar with the DCR, and I wasn’t until Sunday, it’s a worn-torn country that sits in Central Africa. It’s the third largest country on the continent. The average annual income for a family is $120, one of the lowest in the world. Less than half of the population have access to clean, safe drinking water. This issue alone can cause 80% of the world’s diseases. Also, less than half of the children are in school. But the children may be more preoccupied with whether or not they will be recruited as a soldier or slave, so survival trumps education. Over the last few decades, there were two civil wars, referred to as the Africa World War, in which over 5.4 million people were killed. Poverty is severe here, as is malnutrition. The AIDS/HIV epidemic has also infiltrated the country, and Claudine’s family lives in an infected area.

I also knew I wanted to sponsor a little girl because I have been given so many advantages here in the US, and there are so many girls and women who are at a major disadvantage because they are female. So I wanted to help create opportunities as others did for me. A study conducted by the United Nations concluded that women’s rights and fair treatment was not a priority in the DCR and in fact, women were treated extremely poorly in some circumstance. There is even the existence of “female circumcision” which is more of a mutilation to these young girls. Girls and women are frequently bought, sold and traded for work or sex.

And that’s a little about the country…

It’s so difficult to read those things from the comfort of my living room, laying on my couch, in the air conditioning, with quick access to cable/internet and a refrigerator. I don’t really look at that and feel bad for the things I have, because I have more than just things. I have a responsibility. I desire to see the life of others improve because of God working in and through me. I desperately want change. And I have hope that it can…but I can’t do it alone.

I really wish I could just jump on a plane tomorrow and see Claudine in person. Hug her and give her presents. Let her know someone else cares for her and is praying for her. And maybe one day that will happen. But for now, some of the luxuries I’ve been given will be used to help her and her family. It may sound silly, but I did finally find one of those great things that you can put a price tag on – HOPE. For $35 each month, I am sponsoring HOPE for Claudine. Because of me, she can go to school, have access to clean water, give money to her family, buy food, wear suitable clothes and yes, have a future. Some of these things may have only been dreams over a week ago. I am honored and overwhelmed to be a part of this process. I know it’s a process I chose, or maybe I didn’t, but it is so exciting to know that one person’s life could be drastically changed because I wrote a check once every thirty days. It was easy for me, but course-altering for her. And it connected me to this tiny, little soul a million miles away that will also change me. I instantly felt love, gratitude, protective, stewardship and so many other things the moment I submitted my sponsorship. So maybe I also gave myself a little hope; hope that in all the pain and suffering and injustice in the world, I have made it better. And the best part, you can, too.

If this touched your heart in some way, I’d ask you to take a look around http://www.worldvision.com. I think they have a lot of amazing things going on. And if you don’t have $35 each month, they have down to $20 to help end human trafficking and even smaller gifts like purchasing chickens for farms. So, whatever you can do, it’s enough. Small amounts add up. Cutting out one coffee a week or one lunch a month or whatever you decide, it all matters. But how can we, as educated Americans know about an injustice like this and do nothing?

You can no longer claim ignorance. You can only claim action. Find a path, whatever works best with your gifts and strengths, and walk in it. Sponsor some hope.


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40 Days of Prayer and Fasting

On February 1, Daron, Margaret, Mark and I began 40 Days of Prayer & Fasting alongside numerous friends and family members. The purpose was to involve them in helping discern our future. We’ve been praying for direction, both as individuals and as a team, for almost two years and decided it was time to involve others. For me, it was a spectacular time of growth in spirituality and in my relationship with many of those who were also participating. Below is a copy of the email I sent to them.

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My Fasting Experience:

February 4 – My first day was really just a day of focusing and renewal. It just helped to get aligned with God and spend a good chunk of time with Him that evening. It was exciting to begin this 40 Days for my part. The fasting experience that day was pretty normal for me, not the most pleasant thing ever but not terrible. One of my chief thoughts on this day was reflecting on the support given to us from all of you over the years and thinking that some of you might be inadvertantly fasting and praying for your own futures if you join in our possible “venture” (whatever that may be) later on. I thought that was pretty cool! And I also prayed for you guys since you were joining in the fast. I wanted to reciprocate the sacrifice.

February 14 – Not sure why no one else signed up for this day! Ha! The only hard part of me fasting that day was that I was sick with a really bad head cold and pretty fuzzy all day. For me, however, it was a really good day to fast because I wanted to focus on God as my first love. I wanted the day to be dedicated to Him in that way. I can have such a divided heart with all that goes on in my life and the things that distract me from Him, so I really wanted to pledge my love to Him again on this day. And as I was doing my “Experiencing God” study and reading Nehemiah, I realized that God confirmed to me that I need to wait on Him. So the frustration was easier to subside at that point!

February 24 – This was the biggest of all my days of fasting. I had just attended a church conference the previous two days so I had a lot of ideas floating around in my head. And evidently, my fast began the night before as I tried to fall asleep. My mind was just kind of flooded from thinking about my fast on this day (actual excitement for it!) and coming off the conference. I’m beginning to really align myself with the word “missionary”. I distinctly remember thinking of myself in those terms when I was freelance for two years. Not sure when I quite thinking about it. But I’m really learning to love “missionary” and “missional community.” Missional community was a concept I heard at the conference that is kind of like small groups to the tenth degree – very authentic, accountable, service and community oriented, etc. I also came to the realization that I am a bi-vocational minister, and always have been. We are all called to minister, but like almost everyone else, I have had to use other means to support myself. This was all the night before!!! Now on to the 24th! That morning I was still deep in thought about all of that stuff and I was just really joyful. After the last couple of days, it was very hard to go back to work, though, but I’m trying to find the positives. On days I fast, I typically keep the radio and media off, too, but I was in such a joyful mood I wanted to sing. So I did that on the way to work. That night I spent a couple hours studying and it was awesome!

First I did Experiencing God, then read more in Nehemiah and then read my book called “Fasting”. In “Experiencing God” he talked about ‘spiritual concentration’ meaning praying about something and being extremely sensitive to the things that happen next. It also talked about asking for one thing and getting something else. We often don’t know what to do with the thing we didn’t ask for, yet it’s always better because God knows best. So, I’m thinking that I’ve asked God for all kinds of things during the two years but He’s given me a mission community instead, something I didn’t outright know to ask for. Next he talked about when God is silent. It either means there is sin there or God is waiting to reveal a deeper understanding of Himself. It asked when I thought God had been silent and I thought about the approximately two years we have been waiting for direction. Over the last few weeks of this study, I have seen God confirming that I should wait but sometimes the last two years have felt like silence. So, I’m anxiously awaiting God to reveal, and I think He has…at least part of it. (more on this in a moment) He then talked about God speaking through circumstances. And he notes that in the difficult times, you must look through the eyes of God not the middle of your own worries because your perspective is limited.

Interpretation thus far…what you’ve been waiting for… I am seriously excited about the idea of a missional community. Put plainly, it’s a group of people who are living deeply on mission together. It’s intimate and accountable. Up to this point, what I’ve sensed is that missional community is what we are looking for in a church but didn’t use those words. It’s Mark’s commune and Daron’s tough conversations and Margaret’s love in action and my relational ministry all mixed up in a bowl with a lot of other good things the four of us have talked about over the last few years. It’s beautiful and it’s hard. It’s complicated and simple. It’s messy and worthy. And it’s a witness beyond words. And I feel it’s what I’m being called into. The conference was such great affirmation to my journey and where I am at this time, I can’t even describe. And that concept absolutely struck me and has been just rolling around in my head and sinking into my heart. And in thinking about the circumstances over the last few days, I feel confirmed in that much.

In my Bible, I read Nehemiah chapters 10-13. Alas, I finished it again. Makes me sad because I love it so much. But in chapter 10 the people have turned back to the Lord, recounted their story and have sworn an oath to be better – together (10:29). I sense God calling me to create an oath/covenant between the people I do this with and God. “We promise TOGETHER not to neglect the temple of our God.” (10:39b) Theirs was to obey God’s word, stay pure, keep the Sabbath and tithe. Good stuff. And he was big on praying which is obviously pretty cool, too.

March 9 – This was my fourth and last day of fasting. Another good one! I was mainly focused on answering the questions of where I should live and if I should sponsor a child though Compassion or World Vision. During my “Experiencing God” time it spoke of Joshua accompanying the people into the Promised Land and God rolling back the Jordan River. This passage has very special meaning to me and I also chose this passage to expand on during my study time. While I was reading, I picked up on the fact that God told them that they should follow the Ark because they were going into a land they didn’t know. This makes me think that I should go to Smyra/Vinings as that area had come up in discussions over the past few months. It spoke over and over again of them crossing the river, and I also looked on Google maps and I would be crossing over the Hooch if I move to that area! However, the point of it was to catalog and look at the spiritual markers in your journey that would help you make a decision by seeing where God has been taking you all along. I am still working on this part, though.

And while I was reading my Bible in the beginning two chapters of Esther, it talks about her being adopted by her cousin. I was also looking up tithe scriptures online today and Compassion was a side banner. So, I will move forward with sponsoring a child. I think this move will be a great witness for social justice and the person of character I want to be as part of a missional community.

………….I’m happy to expand on any of my days or experience with any of you. Some of you I don’t get to talk to very often, though, so I wanted to write it down. And as I told the folks on Saturday night, the topics and depth of conversations I’ve had with several of you during these 40 days has been awesome and made it a very special time as well. It was worth the 40 days just for that!

I can not express how grateful I am for your participation in all of this. If I forget to update you from time-to-time, please ask! Much love.


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Story Time

I had dinner with a good friend tonight and I realized that though we’ve known each other for over three years, I’ve never heard her life story. (I love stories!) So, I asked her to share hers with me. She kind of rushed through until I would stop and ask her questions along the way. She thought her story was boring.

I used to have the same perspective of my own story. I thought my life was incredibly ordinary or, to me, somewhat disappointing. As far as knowing Jesus, I always did. I’d never been a drug addict that turned from my wicked ways. I’d never sown those wild oats in college to overcome insurmountable regrets after salvation. I’d never heard God’s voice audibly in the middle of the night. Heck, I’d never even had a cavity, seen a national monument or lived in two different houses till college. I hated when people asked me about myself because I got bored hearing it.

Then, in the spring of 2003, I had a conversation that changed my life, and my story, forever. It was with a friend of mine named Don. I was going through one of, if not the, most difficult experiences of my life to that point. I went to him and asked him for his advice on the situation which was moving back from New York. New York had been my dream since I was eight years old and now it had come shattering to an end. I was devastated and heartbroken. One of the things he shared with me was the healing power of my life story. Don told me that as difficult as it was to talk about, it would help me to talk about it. And the more I talked about it, the easier it would get.

Though at the time it seemed like an impossible wound to heal from, I gave it a try. It took quite a few tries before I could tell it without tears streaming down my face, but he was right. Time and talking about it did help heal me from the pain. And it was such a significant time in my life that it became part of my overall story. Since then, it has even served as comfort for others who have had to mourn lifelong dreams or go through painful situations. I talk about it also because I have learned from it. I’m also an external processor, so it helps me to make sense of things when I can talk them out.

As significant as that chapter of my life is, it is still only a part of my story. There are so many bits and pieces. There are so many life-altering experiences that I only realized the importance of after the fact. Just like everyone else, all of these small things add up to create a thread that runs from my beginning to my present to my dreams for the future. It helps me understand myself and you understand me as well. It adds perspective.

For two years, I was a freelance writer. It was one of the greatest times of my life because it deepened my faith in a way I could’ve never guessed. I learned big time dependence and surrender to the Lord because I was dependent on Him for provision constantly. Most every week for those two years, I didn’t know if I was going to have another job the following week. I was hoping and praying bills would get paid. That may sound really scary, but it really wasn’t for me. It was a time when I could see God in a tangible way I’d never known Him before. I loved it. And it certainly kept me on my toes! It was a great time of growth for me.

I nicknamed that time “My Time in the Wilderness”. I was just kinda wandering and wondering. There were a lot of unknowns. I stepped out on faith because I felt God had called me to it and He gave me peace in return. But it was definitely a position I’d never been in before. So, during that time, I read in the Old Testament about the Israelites wandering in the wilderness on their way to the Promised Land. I just figured we had a lot in common. But it was crazy how my life would parallel what was happening in the Bible. It came alive to me and I could see how to relate it to my circumstance in a whole new way. God provided for them as they needed, and no more than they needed at a time. He also led them to where they were going. He was with them. And of course, the Lord, was doing the same for me.

But much like the Israelites, I was a complainer. There were days I wanted more than quail as they did, or kept wondering how much further to the Promised Land or longed for the comforts of security. Not coincidently, He reminded me the same as He did them, that He was in the middle of this mess. God had taken care of them and He would do the same for me. Every time they complained, they were reminded of the captivity they’d come from. God reiterated their story…His story and their place it in. And without fail, every time I became discouraged or frustrated, God gave me an opportunity to share my story with someone. Every time. When I finished telling it, I was amazed at the adventure I’d been on. I couldn’t believe I was living in that story! It was such a privilege at that point. I had a great story!

I believe it is the same with everyone. It’s kind of like watching your own hair grow. Sometimes we look at the same thing every day and don’t see any change. But when we broaden our perspective and tie the whole thing together, we can see it more clearly. We are miles and years from where we were, spiritually, emotionally, physically, whatever. But it took all of those things to get us to that point.

God has a plan for each of us. I truly believe that statement. He invites us all to be a part of His story. And when I look at my role in The Story, I am humbled. I got asked. And I am playing my role. My own little thread runs through the fabric of time. I matter. Though my role may never be someone like Billy Graham, I’m significant. Yes, The Story can happen without me, but the point is that God doesn’t want it to. So, my answer is yes. I’ll join in!

When you look at your story like that, why wouldn’t it be grand?!?!?! It’s epic! It is part of The Story! It is full of events that bring God glory. It is a testimony of His love for this one, little person. One person out of six billion. And yet, it is mine. There are a lot of things people can take from me if they want. My story is not one of them. Yet it is woven with so many others. My story didn’t happen alone. He put all kinds of “random” interactions with strangers in between meaningful conversations and experiences with friends and family. They all add up to be words, phrases, sentences and chapters in my story.

Some of the most significant moments in my life are incredibly depressing. Some are thrilling. Some still make me laugh out loud. And I believe God was beside me in all of them. The Holy Spirit was guiding me along His path. Sometimes I took the right steps but there were quite a few I didn’t. All still matter.

I hope I was able to help my friend see that her story is not boring or insignificant. It is hers. I care about her and want to know her better, so I loved hearing it. It helps me understand her. I can see more of where she is coming from. I can see the unique ways God has worked in her life. That is quite valuable to me.

I don’t like to tell my story because I like to hear myself talk. I love to tell my story because I see God’s fingerprints all over it! I would say 99% of the experiences I’ve had were never planned by me. They were all Him. And I’m so thankful. They are so much better than what I wanted. My story is a witness of His work in my life. I believe the same is true for each of us.

Please do yourself a favor. Do someone else a favor. Share your story.


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All The World’s A Stage

Been talking to a lot of people lately who are “waiting” or in “holding patterns” or “anxious” in their lives. Basically, folks looking for what’s next. I feel very much the same way…most of the time.

However, I have to continually remind myself that no matter what stage I’m in, there is always one behind me and one ahead of me. We never leave stages. They are inherently part of life, yet we always feel pressure (by ourselves or others) to get to the next one. Why is this? Maybe this is why patience is a virtue.

Now I can understand the pressure to move forward because I’m a driven sort of person. Standing still can often feel like moving backwards. I’d rather go out of my way two hours in traffic than sit still. I just want to be moving. But I can also rush into things, move ahead before I am probably ready. In the traffic scenario, which is actually the waste? What is being wasted? Time? Gas? Patience? And coming from a theater background, it seems I would love to always have a stage. I mean, I’ve got the costumes, for goodness sake. Sadly, even I grow tired of them. Stages can be no fun if you don’t know your lines.

One particular stage I’ve been in for about two years now. I didn’t see it coming and I am pretty cloudy about the end date as well. Ain’t that just the way? However, if there is one thing I’ve learned it’s that there is plenty to do while waiting. I’ve definitely been in stages where I just wasted time. I was angry or bitter or bored or something. And I saw the stage as a waste of my time, so my sharp logic just told me to stare right back and waste away with it. That’ll teach it! No PhD here, folks. But I’m happy to say that as I’ve matured, I’ve been better at utilizing the waiting time. I am more aware of the benefits of the stage, using them as preparation rather than stagnation. After all, what a shame it would be to grow to the next stage having learned nothing from the current one. That’s the real waste. And it probably means I won’t get all I can from the next one either. I’m setting up a negative chain reaction.

Recently, I started going through the workbook Experiencing God again. (TANGENT: This Bible study changed my life the first time I did it a couple years ago, and it’s currently doing it again. It’s amazing and I highly recommend it if you’d like to grow and mature in your relationship with God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit.) Last night’s lesson was entitled “God Speaks with a Purpose.” In it, Henry Blackaby notes, “God develops character to match the assignment. Do not assume, however, that the moment God calls you, you are prepared for the assignment. Many of us don’t want to give attention to the development of our character; we just want God to give us a big assignment. But if you are not willing to be faithful in a little, God will not give you larger assignments.” Ok, ouch Blackaby, now it’s just getting personal! Guilty as charged, more often than I care to admit.

As I’ve gone through the workbook, though, the action step I come away with over and over again in relation to this stage is “wait and listen.” Frustrating still, because I’m a doer. I’m good at getting things done. But if my desire is to do God’s Will, I guess I’ll have to wait and listen. And that is my desire. So I’m trying my best to be an active listener. God isn’t calling me to sit and do nothing. I need to look around and see how He is working on my character in this stage. I am trying my hardest to take the small assignments and be faithful in them. Sure, like everyone, I want the big assignments. I pray repeatedly, though, that that desire is not for my own glory, but His. And I want to play my part in His story. I want the assignments He wants for me. I don’t want to waste time and miss out. Sometimes it’s those small assignments that actually stay with me the longest, affect me the most or offer a shared experience with someone close. I really do believe, just as there are no small parts in theater, there are no small assignments in God’s Kingdom. I mean, I still get to play a role in the Creator of the Universe’s story! How could there be a small assignment there? I’m a part of the plan of salvation, the ministry of reconciliation!

Blackaby also pointed out not to assume that the moment you are called, you will be prepared. Therefore, the current (and next) stage requires active listening as well. In fact, it may very well be this preparation and growth that not only elevates you to the next stage, but makes you crave it. And I think this is an encouraging thought. It would then mean that waiting is directly correlative to advancement. And what could be wasteful about that? Ironic. Counter-intuitive. Cool. That’s a stage I can play on. That’s a stage I can really live in, and love living in.

So, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to get back to my waiting. It’s a busy time for me, and I’m sure you understand. (Let me know how yours goes, too.)


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New Wineskins

I’m in the middle of a 21-day journal focused on “Renewal in the Body of Christ”. Each day only has a short thought and scripture, but I always find it challenging. One, in particular, stuck with me this week. I’ve thought about it repeatedly over the past couple of days, pushing myself to really explore it’s message.

Below is what it said. I hope you find it challenging and thought-provoking as well…

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SCRIPTURE:
Matthew 9:17 (NLT) “And no one puts new wine into old wineskins. For the old skins would burst from the pressure, spilling the wine and ruining the skins. New wine is stored in new wineskins so that both are preserved.”

PERSONAL REFLECTION:
An old wineskin is hardened and cracks easily when new wine is put into it; as the new wine ferments and expands, it runs out of room due to the old wineskin’s inability to be flexible. The Body of Christ must be willing to be flexible as he pressure of our changing world demands that we expand to include new ways of thinking and reaching those who are lost. In a rapidly changing global environment, our old ways are not going to be as effective as they once were. We must learn how to be Spirit-led and Spirit-formed so that we don’t camp out in any one way of doing ministry. Ask God to release a new wind of the Spirit upon the church to guide His Church in the right direction. Pray that the church has an open ear and willing heart to understand and take action on the Spirit’s direction.

PRAYING THROUGH SCRIPTURE:
1 Corinthians 2:10-16 (MSG) “Jesus, we know your Spirit isn’t content to flit around on the surface, but instead you dive into the depths of God and bring out His plans to us. Only you know what you’re thinking and planning – but you let us in on it, giving us a full report. We don’t have to rely on the world’s guesses and opinions. We don’t have to learn by reading books or going to school – instead we can learn person-to-person through you and pass it on in a personal, firsthand way. As your church, if we are spiritually alive, we can have access to everything you are doing. We don’t have to wonder ‘what you’re doing’ – you know and we have your spirit within us. Let us be open to each new direction and instruction, moving fluidly with you to be Spirit-led and Spirit-formed.”

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At the end of each day’s page, it asks, “Going forward I’m committed to…”. My short answer was to become a new wineskin and to encourage others to do the same. Having grown up in the church and participating in a local congregation, I know I can be short-sighted sometimes. I get stuck in the way I like things. I forsake change for my own comfort. But in doing so, I can easily listen more to myself than the Spirit. After all, you start doing that and you are just asking for trouble! But I must remember that I’m not called to be comfortable. I’m called to be part of a larger story, one that doesn’t grant me center stage. (Whoa, hit to my ego.) But the greatest and best things I’ve done in my life were areas where I took risk and listened to the Spirit. I got in a little trouble. I got rid of the old wineskin.

So now I pray for you, Church, be new wineskins. Stretch. Grow. Look at new ways of doing ministry. Open your hearts and let the Spirit speak. And when He does, be prepared to move.

Oh, and how would you answer?