Mental Post-Its

Thoughts, Notes, and General Mental Mayhem

Category Archives: Live


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Why I Fight

April 4, 1968, changed history forever. It was no longer the life of a man, but the legacy he left behind. A woman lost her husband, four children lost their father, and the world lost one of the greatest leaders it had ever known.

Martin Luther King Jr. is a personal hero of mine, so I always take a moment to remember and honor him in my own way. For the last few years that’s meant listening to his “I Have A Dream” speech on YouTube.

If you have 15 minutes, I’d encourage you to listen to it again. It never fails to bring me to tears.

This year, though, I decided to listen to his “I Have Been to the Mountaintop” speech, the last one he gave. I’ve heard excerpts from it before, but as it’s about 45 minutes long I don’t know that I’ve heard the whole thing. Once again, I found him not only inspiring but somehow comforting.

I’ve always been drawn to the stories of Moses, Abraham Lincoln and MLK. Liberation and abolition were a part of my heart’s vocabulary before I truly understood what they meant. There was just something beautiful and righteous about helping others gain their freedom. I admired them for their actions, though I am saddened they were even necessary.

Personally, I still have a really hard time even processing the Civil Rights Movement. I am always baffled by the fact that it was in full swing only a decade or so before I was born. I just can’t fathom that life existed at all, but much less right before mine began. How was/is that kind of hate tolerated? Where does it come from? Why is it encouraged? I have sat and thought and shed tears wondering what I would do if I were in any of their situations. I have prayed with every fiber of my being that I am the kind of person would have fought for those people. It would have been ugly. It would have been hard. It would have been painful, mentally, spiritually, and quite possibly physically. But it would’ve been the right thing to do.

I can’t remember where, possibly in David Batstone’s book, Not For Sale, but someone spoke about the 27 million slaves in the world today, and then asked a question like, “When your children asked what you did to help them, what will you say?” I sat with that for a while, and then I smiled. I finally had the answer to the question that I wondered in my heart for so long. I now know that I am a part of the solution. I know that I wouldn’t, that I couldn’t, ignore it. I would never knowingly be part of the problem, but it would be easy enough to sit back and let someone else take charge. Except that, for me, I can’t. God has built it into me. Ignoring it or doing nothing wouldn’t be easy. It would eat at me until I acted on it because it’s part of my God-given design. I am, and always have been, an abolitionist. And now is my chance to prove it.

Today, listening to MLK’s speech, I feel I identified with him more than ever before. And while there are probably a hundred lessons to learn, I will share with you four that meant something in particular to me right now with where I’m at in life. If you’ve got 45 minutes, below is the speech in it’s entirety. It’s pretty remarkable. Or you can read it here.

1. IF YOU HEAR THE TRUTH, PREACH IT. For me, this means telling others about modern-day slavery. It is a message God has put within me to share. Yes, others can and will do it. But I won’t let them do it without me. It is “a kind of fire shut up in my bones.”

In his speech he said, “We need all of you. And you know what’s beautiful to me is to see all of these ministers of the Gospel. It’s a marvelous picture. Who is it that is supposed to articulate the longings and aspirations of the people more than the preacher? Somehow the preacher must have a kind of fire shut up in his bones. And whenever injustice is around he tell it. Somehow the preacher must be an Amos, and saith, ‘When God speaks who can but prophesy?’ Again with Amos, ‘Let justice roll down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.’ Somehow the preach must say with Jesus, ‘The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me. And he’s anointed me to deal with the problems of the poor.”

Amos 7:14-15, “But Amos replied, “I’m not a professional prophet, and I was never trained to be one. I’m just a shepherd, and I take care of sycamore-fig trees. But the Lord called me away from my flock and told me, ‘Go and prophesy to my people in Israel.’”

2. PUT YOUR MONEY WHERE YOUR MOUTH IS. This lesson is very timely because my friends and I at Not For Sale Georgia released a Purchase With Purpose guide this fall. It’s filled with 250+ companies that care about social responsibility and are striving to ensure that their supply chain is slave free. I want to buy better, and I want to teach others to do the same.

In his speech he said, “Always anchor our external direct action with the power of economic withdrawal. Now, we are poor people. Individually, we are poor when you compare us with the white society in America. We are poor. Never stop and forget collectively—that means all of us together—collectively we are richer than all the nations in the world, with the exception of nine… That’s power right there, if we know how to pool it.

We don’t have to argue with anybody. We don’t have to curse and go around acting bad with our words. We don’t need any bricks and bottles. We don’t need any Molotov cocktails. We just need to go around to these stores, and to these massive industries in our country and say, ‘God sent us by here, to say to you that you’re not treating his children right. And we’ve come by here to ask that you make them the first item on your agenda fair treatment, where God’s children are concerned. Now, if you’re not prepared to do that, we do have an agenda that we must follow. And our agenda calls for withdrawing economic support from you.”

3. BECOME DANGEROUSLY UNSELFISH. I, by nature, am selfish. But I want to change that. It’s part of the reason I’ve chosen my theme for the year as SIMPLIFY. I know once I personally have less, I’ll be able to give more. Like many of my friends who have been on mission trips and humanitarian trips, I have had the privilege to spend time with some people who have very little. As you’ve probably heard others say, they are almost always quite happy, and they eagerly share what little they have with you. How many middle to upper class Americans does that accurately describe? I’m guessing the Rx tablets at the doctor’s offices would say very few. If I don’t care as much about my “stuff,” then I won’t care as much about having less or sharing it. Hmmm, I’m pretty sure there’s a Beattitude in there somewhere.

In his speech he said, “Now, let me say as I move to my conclusion that we’ve got to give ourselves to this struggle until the end. Nothing would be more tragic than to stop at this point in Memphis. We’ve got to see it through. And when we have our march, you need to be there. If it means leaving work, if it means leaving school—be there. Be concerned about your brother. You may not be on strike. But either we go up together, or we go down together. Let us develop a kind of dangerous unselfishness.” He then goes on to tell the parable of the Good Samaritan in Luke 10:25-27, following with, “And so the first question that the priest asked, the first question that the Levite asked was, ‘If I stop to help this man, what will happen to me?’ But then the Good Samaritan came by and he reversed the question, ‘If I do not stop to help this man, what will happen to him?’

4. I, TOO, HAVE GLIMPSED THE PROMISED LAND. I believe when MLK made this statement he simply meant that he had seen the capacity for what’s good, and what’s right. And he saw that change was on they way. I, too, am privileged to see that on a regular basis. More and more people are becoming aware that slavery is not an issue of the past, but one that continues to the present. It is no longer conversations of one or two people, but thousands. Event audiences are growing, people are asking questions, and moreover, they are asking what they can do. A motto of Not For Sale is to end slavery in this lifetime. I know some days, that seems an insurmountable task when you hear the number 27 million, or the heartbreaking story of a child sold into that life, or the number of Johns (perpetrators) even in your own community. And then, there are those glimpses of the Promised Land when you hear the story of a rescue, the birth of a new survivor. I do not know if slavery will end in my lifetime. I hope so. I pray so. I just know I have to get in there and be part of the fight.

In his speech he said, after describing the bomb threat to his plane, “Well, I don’t know what will happen now. We’ve got some difficult days ahead. But it really doesn’t matter with me now, because I’ve been to the mountaintop.

And I don’t mind.

Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But I’m not concerned about that now. I just want to do God’s will. And He’s allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I’ve looked over. And I’ve seen the Promised Land. I may not get there with you, but I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the Promised Land!

And so I’m happy, tonight.

I’m not worried about anything.

I’m not fearing any man!

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord!

This speech took place April 3, 1968. Dr. King was assassinated the next day. When I finally sit and have a conversation with MLK in Heaven, which is on my list, I won’t ask if he’d do it all again. I know without a doubt he would. After all, he’d been to the mountaintop. Who would want to come down from that? He did what God put inside him to do. There is no regret in that. I know there are moments he would like to have seen, like his children growing up, growing old with his wife, and hanging out with friends. But he fulfilled his mission. He did what he existed for. How amazing is that! I want that!

Today is a special day.We don’t just honor a life. We continue his legacy.

Why do I fight the battle of an abolitionist? I do it because my heroes did it. I do it because my God specifically designed me for it. I do it because I can. I do it because I must. I do it because in the midst of the darkness, there are glimpses of the Promised Land. And they make it worth the fight.

2 Kings 6:16-17, “Don’t be afraid!” Elisha told him. ‘For there are more on our side than on theirs!’ Then Elisha prayed, ‘O Lord, open his eyes and let him see!’ The Lord opened the young man’s eyes, and when he looked up, he saw that the hillside around Elisha was filled with horses and chariots of fire.”

27 million. It’s a lot. But there are more on our side than on theirs. God, whether you open my eyes to see it or not, I know you and your armies are there. I have faith.

I am not just living a life. I am continuing God’s legacy, just as Martin Luther King Jr did. Whether my name is celebrated by only one, or one million, I fight.


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My Theme for 2013

2013It’s interesting. I’ve been mulling over my 2013 theme for over a month now, but from the moment I started thinking about it, one word instantly came to mind. I wanted to continue thinking about it more to make sure I was certain I wanted to use it, but still, the same word came to mind. It’s kind of been stuck there. So, I guess maybe my word found me and I just had to settle into it.

SIMPLIFY.

That’s what I’ll be working on and toward for 2013. I like using verbs because I feel the implied action gives me momentum. It keeps me moving forward.

Last year, it was PRIORITIZE. This year, I wanted to continue the same thread while also getting a bit of a fresh start. I definitely needed a break from the craziness that was 2012. I feel SIMPLIFY does that. It just so happens that it also goes nicely with our 2013 theme for The Orange Conference, Focus. 😉

This tradition of a theme/word for the year is loosely based on the Jewish Day of Atonement, Yom Kippur. My friend, Daron, came up with the idea, and he as well as several of our friends have continued it. The basic idea is that instead of merely looking back at the year to see what happened at the end, you start the year by looking ahead to see what you think the year might be about. Then you use the theme as a lens in which to view things throughout the year. At it’s basis, it’s a way to be proactive/responsive to the year, and not let the year just happen to you. It’s an intentional way to live rather than reactive—which is how I prefer to live.

I’ve decided I that I also want to live more simply, which was an underlying inspiration for my theme. Some days, this seems incredible difficult. “Stuff” just seems to find it’s way home with me. A new kitchen appliance. A piece of furniture. Picture frames. Gadgets. Books. Clothes. The list goes on and on. I somehow keep adding to my Amazon Wish List. But in the end, I usually end up with some form of buyer’s remorse. Not only are 99% of these things not needed, but many days I just get sick of having too much. I hate looking around at all my junk. I realize more and more the excess and accumulation of the society to which I belong. Realistically, if you came by, you probably wouldn’t say that if you saw my apartment. I don’t have piles of things around. I don’t like clutter. I periodically give items to Goodwill and clean out my closet. But much of what I have, I just don’t need. And as my heart becomes more attuned to global issues, I think I begin to understand that I can do so much more if I have less. Those are things would never cause me remorse.

I feel like SIMPLIFY will be a sort of cleansing for me—on physical, mental, emotional and spiritual levels. I’ve already started incorporating it into many areas of my life, down to small things like unsubscribing from some email lists. There are numerous ways to SIMPLIFY and I hope to tackle many of them over the next 12 months.

Here are just a few of the ones that have already crossed my mind, with more to come, I’m sure:

  • Getting rid of more stuff. A couple of items include my coffee table and dining room table, because really, I don’t use either for anything other than setting decorations on.
  • As noted, unsubscribing from email lists.
  • Paying down more debt. I started off pretty good last year, but medical expenses and a couple other extraneous items did more damage.
  • Going through my budget, yet again, to see what I can cut back on.

I’ve even done a couple of things that may seem counter-intuitive to SIMPLIFY. I printed a reading list to read through the Bible chronologically, since I’ve never read it that way, and started using the service eMeals.com. These two things were done more as a way to automate habits that I was already in or wanted to be better at, without really taxing me mentally. I’m not one that loves and craves routines, but I think incorporating these two processes into my life will be really good. They will allow me to refine past routines, which I think fits nicely with SIMPLIFY.

My song and verse for 2013 came to me during the church service last week. I love it when that happens because it feels natural and promised. The song I’m using is “Be My Everything” because of it’s repetitive nature and message. It is what SIMPLIFY sounds like to me based on those two words. My verse, on the other hand, doesn’t necessarily go with the theme. Frankly, I just really liked it and kept repeating it in my mind:

Matthew 16:18, “And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.” ESV

Quite honestly, I think I just sat at home sick so much in 2012 that the action in this verse makes me want to get up and get out there. I’m ready for a little hell-gate prevailing.

So, that’s it. There you have it. That’s what I’m looking forward to in 2013. Realistically, I know curve balls will come and life will happen, and I’ll just be along for the ride most of the time.

But I’m hoping I can keep SIMPLIFY in mind along the way.

I’m hoping this theme will give me the ability to channel my thoughts and actions.

And I’m hoping I can come to you in 11 months or so saying that I have have less, and have lived and given more.

 

Okay, and if I get to do a little hell-gate prevailing in the meantime, so be it. 😉

 


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Be The Blueprint

As expected, Sunday was a really good church service at Blueprint. I knew I would go in and get pumped up by the New Year energy of the crowd, and be encouraged to start January off right. I needed the fuel to get a jump start on my theme for 2013, be renewed after the weird year that was 2012, and grab an early anchor point to dig in and move forward in new possibilities. I was not disappointed with the new “Be The Blueprint” series.

In fact, I decided to outline some of my notes from Sunday here in case you could use a good dose of perspective and inspiration as well.

  • Too many times we reflect not on our blessings, but what we feel God is withholding from us. We take a victim or woe is me attitude.
  • We aren’t here to simply exist. There is a reason you and I exist. What do you exist for? (Proverbs 29:18, “Where there is no vision, the people perish.” KJV)
  • Too often we don’t spend our time living, but trying not to make God mad.
  • Blueprint’s DNA: The gospel changes people, and people change the world.
  • Blueprint’s mission: To unleash healthy people to do ministry where life exists.
  • Blueprint’s strategy: Growing in the gospel in the context of family while living on mission.
  • We are less proactive in church, but usually more reactive and defensive. We need to be on the attack. (Matthew 16:18, “And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.” ESV)

5 Reasons We Need to be Burdened By Mission

  1. Mission grows our affections for Christ, taking us from conceptual to effectual.
  2. Mission aligns our hearts with His, causing us to move from passive to compassionate.
  3. Mission reestablishes our identity, remind us we are God’s chosen vessel.
  4. Mission reminds us of our deficiencies, driving us to pray.
  5. Mission reminds us of His sufficiency, strengthening our faith. (Did you ever think that maybe the feeding of the 5,000 and 4,000 weren’t for those fed, but for the disciples?)

I’m praying you find your mission, or continue it, in 2013. It’s not easy, but totally worth it. Living differently is definitely living better. I think I’ve had a few different missions during my life, depending on my life stage and circumstance. The one I’m currently on has been building over the past few years, and it’s still really exciting to me. I’m excited and curious to see where it leads me this year.

It was a breezy 50 degrees when I walked out of the church service on Sunday, but I didn’t care. I was on fire.

 

If you want a little more, here’s a great blog post on the Blueprint site from Pastor John on the New Year.


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A Look Back at 2012

Now that I have put up my Christmas decorations, I feel I can adequately reflect on 2012.

My word for 2012 was PRIORITIZE. I posted it prominently on my bathroom mirror so that I saw it a couple of times each day. I think I got off to a fairly good start, too. I thought about it frequently, and tried to live by it.

And then, mono happened.

And it kept happening. In fact, it happened for six months. During that time, I definitely fell way behind on my prioritizing. A couple of things I managed to pull along with me slowly, but overall, I just couldn’t keep up. Existing was all I could do on some days—my biggest accomplishment was getting out of bed and moving to the couch. Other days were better. Slowly but surely I was able to put more time in at work and have dinner with people again and generally leave the house for a few hours at time. Then, about five months into the mono, I had to go to the ER with what I thought was just a really bad kidney infection. Yes, it was, but it was also an inflamed gall bladder full of gallstones. What followed were three days of hospital stay and the removal of this funny little organ I knew almost nothing about. Then it was more days of rest and recovery. I feel like I lived mostly on my couch this year. I joked that I should’ve designed my own line of lounge wear because that’s about all I wore in 2012.

But prioritizing never left my thoughts. I tried to catch back up on it in pieces, but mostly 2012 was about prioritizing my health. I was sick and/or recovering for about eight months during 2012. I’m not fully over everything yet. Didn’t see that one coming, as I’ve typically been someone without a lot of health issues. Maybe it was a curse to open that FSA account last January? My lasik surgery went out the window—fingers crossed for this year, though.

Fortunately, I was also able to prioritize working with the local chapter of Not For Sale. That was about the only other thing I was able to squeeze in, but it was a great experience and I’m so thankful to have done some real work as an abolitionist. I look forward to seeing where that takes me in the future. It’s a wonderful organization that’s done amazing things, and it’s nice to be a part of it.

While the health issues were definitely the focal point for this year, I continue to wonder if perhaps that was God’s way of slowing me down. I’ve never been great at that. I’m usually go, go, go. And I’m sure I’ll continue to learn lessons from that experience as I reflect more and begin to enjoy my health again. (I hope, for both aspects.)

Luckily, I was still able to fit in trips to NYC, North Georgia and California while having mono and the latter two post surgery. I would’ve been really sad if I didn’t travel, so those were definite highlights. The relapses afterward were well worth it!

I continue to discover that life is a little like a game of Mexican Train, one of my family’s favorites. You can plan and strategize and get all your ducks in a row, but things will always go awry. Life happens. People around you make unpredictable moves. You have a bad draw. Realistically, I have no control. I just have to do my best with what I have. Did I do that in 2012? I think I did ok, given the circumstances. I can always do better. Unfortunately, most everything was ruled and determined by how tired I was or how I felt. I hated that, especially when I was full conscious of it, but I couldn’t do much else. I just couldn’t think outside of it. As I’m getting more healthy and turning my immune system around, though, I am slowly making changes.

I began preparing for 2013 probably about a month ago, maybe more. I am really trying to look at what I can do with what I have. Right now, what I have is someone who is still on the road to recovery—but that’s something I can work with. There are definitely things I can do now to be better in numerous ways, and I will. I am making flexible plans. Toward the end of 2012, I started prioritizing 2013. It’s here, and I feel I am ready. After all, it begins mostly in the mind. I haven’t lost that yet. 😉

So what will my word for 2013 be? Stay tuned!


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The Mental Illness Role in Tragedy

For sure, we are all still in shock and greiving from the Sandy Hook Elementary shooting. I watch a lot of cop and law shows, and there is plenty of death, but I always simply think of it as fiction. When something truly tragic happens in the world like last Friday, I find myself completely stunned. It’s honestly hard for me to believe that people exist who can commit such haneous crimes. I’m just not sure how to absorb it. However, the last few times, I keep coming back to some of the same conclusions.

Yes, I agree with those who pipe up for tougher gun laws. Yes, I absolutely believe that these people needed Jesus in their lives. But where I feel we truly fall short is the mental health issue. Weapons of some sort will always be available to those searching for them. But it is vital to reach these people in their hearts and in their minds before they decide to reach for a gun.

I’ve heard the mental health issue brought up in conjunction with several of these massacres, but it’s more in the fact of the gunman struggled with a mental health issue. I’m not sure I’ve ever heard anyone talk specifically about diagnosis or treatment of mental health issues, and I feel that’s a shame. It seems that still today, this issue is still too taboo. Its time we wake up. The statistics are against us. They are too large to ignore. As long as these people are suffering with no one to help them, the pain will rise to the surface somehow, someway.

We need to be able to understand and become more compassionate to these people who are hurting so desperately. We need to know how to recognize the signs, and get them the help they need. It begins with those closest to them—friends and family. While yes, some of these behaviors come out of left fiield, I believe there are some which probably do not. We’ve all been in situations before where we could look back and see red flags. These behaviors could very well be the manifestation of thoughts and feelings that have been boiling underneath for years. True, some may also not want help. And in those cases, it may be more prudent to warn an authority figure as a precaution. And several of these gunman have been bullied. I wonder if people were there to help them recover or stand up for them. I wonder if anyone could’ve at least reported them to the police before it was too late. I wonder why getting them help is too shameful or too intrusive. I wonder how much we really care.

I have an awesome group of friends. I’m beyond thankful for them on a daily basis. There are many reasons why, but one of those is that many of us have been through counseling, pyschologists and psychiatrists, and we are not ashamed to talk to each other about it. We somehow found the strength to ask for help when we needed it most. And we are all better for it. It is not taboo for us. It is part of who we are. In fact, several of my friends have even gone on to get degrees in counseling in order to help others. I have no doubt that if one of us tried to go off the deep end in some way, the rest of us would interceed. Thats what friendship and love does.

I hope that more people will begin to see the need and benefits to exploring mental health. On my local news last Friday, the anchor woman said there had been 125 mass shootings since Columbine. I couldn’t believe that number. It was so much higher than I expected. I remember, probably like many of you, exactly when and where I was when I heard about Columbine. It will forever be burned in my memory. I remember praying for nothing like that to ever happen again. I’m so very sad at how far we’ve come.

So, yes, let’s create tougher gun laws. If we are Christians, let’s tell those who are hurting about our Saviour Jesus. But let’s also learn to recognize and deal with mental illness as a society. If we don’t, we will only be treating major wounds with band-aids.