Mental Post-Its

Thoughts, Notes, and General Mental Mayhem

Category Archives: Live


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Gallbladder Surgery Tips and Tricks

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Diagram via WebMD.com

Like me, my friend Sara will be soon be walking around without a gallbladder. Since I just had mine removed three weeks ago, I decided to write down a few things for her. She thought I might share my knowledge on cholecystectomy (the surgery) with the world, so here it is. Hopefully it’s helpful to those of you out there who may join our little club in the future. Mine was removed in an emergency situation, so I didn’t have a lot of time to prepare, mentally or otherwise. For those of you who have some time to digest the information (pun intended), you might feel more equipped going into it now.

  • They kept me one night after my surgery because I live alone. They needed to make sure I could get around on my own. If you live with others, you’ll probably get to go home that day, if your surgery is early enough. Big plus, in my opinion.
  • You have to go to the pharmacy right after leaving the hospital, unless you can get someone to grab your Rx for you. It’s not a great time to run errands, and I personally think it’s ridiculous. I thought I was going to pass out by the time I was home! You’ll need the pain meds right away probably. If you can get your pharmacy to allow someone to pick it up, do it. Maybe there’s a form to sign or something. But you’ll just want to go straight home.
  • They gave me pills for nausea at home. I think maybe for the first three or four days I had to take maybe one a day. But it wasn’t bad or anything. If you like ginger, maybe have some ginger tea, ginger chews or ginger-ale ready at home if those will help. But the pills do work great too.
  • I had some blood in my urine for about two days following the surgery. That seems to be normal.
  • Very important: You can take a shower about 24 hours after the surgery. Just be careful not to get the bandages wet, so keep your back to the water stream. Which reminds me, move everything within reach. Stretching will be off limits for a while. So, move all your shower stuff to the back of the shower. I even had to move my nightstand closer since I typically reach for my lamp at night.
  • They say it helps to get up and move around as you are able. So I did laundry, emptied the dishwasher, got food or drink, etc, and found ways to be upright and walking. Being upright isn’t very painful.
  • I am not sure if it’s everyone, but my worst immediate pain for two days was my right shoulder. I think it’s how they have to position it during surgery, but it felt like they dislocated it. And the Percocet did nothing for the arm pain. In the hospital they said they couldn’t do anything for it, but once I got home I used Icy Hot patches and they helped a lot. Just have something available in case you need it. The main issue is that I’m right-handed, so I couldn’t use it to help prop myself up. I just had to force my abs to do the work, which is what can be so painful (see previous blog post link). But if you have people at home, they can probably help you sit/get up.
  • Again, not sure if it’s everyone, but they put me under via IV, but kept me under through a throat tube. So when I woke up, my throat hurt for a couple of days. Have soft foods around. I also like these throat drops.
  • I barely had any appetite for a week or more, so maybe have foods around that are comforting and you feel like eating. For me it was soft bread with cheese, bananas, apple sauce, etc. I wish my appetite hadn’t come back—that was actually a perk! 😉  I made chicken and rice thinking it would be plain enough, but the smell made me nauseous (anything with a strong, lingering smell probably) so I didn’t eat it for a week or so. But I also have a sensitive nose.
  • They’ll tell you to eat low sodium. I’ve discovered I kinda eat that way anyway, so I really haven’t had to adjust. And the ONLY thing I craved was Pad Thai, for some strange reason. It’s not low sodium or low fat (the things your gallbladder used to absorb which now happens via liver/stomach), but I ate such small portions each meal that I didn’t have any issues. Many people evidently have diarrhea with the adjustments to their systems, but I’ve not had any issues. Just have some meds on-hand, if needed.
  • My Percocet was only good for about five days. About day three or so, I started spacing out the meds so they’d last longer. But do this only once you can take it. These were supposed to be every six hours, but in the beginning, you feel like you need them every three. So don’t do space them out or drop them until you feel you can. Then switch to Ibuprofen. I was kinda surprised that helped, but it did.
  • I couldn’t lay on the couch for almost two weeks, too low and hard to get up. After a few days, I could sit on it with pillows behind me because it isn’t hard to rise vertically, only horizontally. (So, going to the bathroom wasn’t bad either because it’s vertical.) Then I’d just remove pillows as I could and eventually be able to lay down. So, my bed is high, and I had pillows to help me stay propped up and get out of bed easier. If I’d have known about it at the time, I would’ve ordered a pillow like this or this.)Anything you can do to avoid being horizontal is good! (I stayed propped up for multiple nights because I typically sleep on my stomach and didn’t want to roll over in my sleep. I just watched TV in bed on my iPad. And, of course, slept a lot.
  • I would say I had pain for almost a week, and then it was more soreness, except when I had to use my ab muscles. I didn’t watch comedies or medical dramas. 😉  I made sure to keep taking allergy meds, too, because sneezing and coughing isn’t fun.
  • I could drive about a week later, and when I went back to the doc to get the staples out, I was surprised it didn’t hurt. But I didn’t realize they used staples at first. About a week after surgery, I looked under the badges, and wish I hadn’t! I tried to immediately stick it back on but it didn’t work—I looked like Frankenstein with all the bruising and staples. And then I was nervous about getting them out since I’d never had them. But giving blood was more painful than getting them removed. Finally, a nice surprise.
  • After the staples, they had me keep gauze bandages on the different incisions (three—don’t need at belly button) which you change 1-2 times per day. (I had to buy some, so grab ahead if you can.) I had to wear the main bandage for about a week after. And I kept my back to the shower water stream until my bandages were ready to stay off completely. It just seemed like the water pressure would hurt otherwise, but that was a feeling more than a fact. Do what feels comfortable to you! They told me to leave the little clear Band-aid type things on until they fell off—they’re under the gauze. Two have fallen off now, and it’s about three weeks since the surgery. The main ones should come off in the next couple days, I think.
  • Probably because I have mono as well, but I’m still pretty zapped of energy/tired. A week and a half later I went to work for a few hours on Monday and Tuesday and ran some errands—big mistake. Knocked me on my butt for about three days. So, start small and build. And I hadn’t worn jeans since before the hospital either, so those didn’t feel great at my belly button. And any regular clothes in general. I felt really swollen for several days all over, and a few days later still around my abdomen. But I was on an IV for three days due to this emergency surgery, a kidney infection and waiting to have surgery. Hopefully you won’t be the same. Nonetheless, lounge clothes are your friend. (As sick as I’ve been this year I should have my own line of lounge wear.)
  • I’d say I still have some discomfort from time-to-time around the abdomen but not too bad or too long.

That’s it! I hope this process will be easier for you now!

PS: If you go to the ER with an unknown pain on the upper right side of your abdomen, just do yourself a favor and pack a bag to take with you! Once I was there, I wasn’t allowed to leave.

 

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2012 is Trying to Kill Me

I have no idea why, but 2012 is trying to kill me. This year has been a crazy one in terms of my health. I have never really thought of myself as someone with health issues, but maybe I’m making up for lost time. It’s really weird to say, but I’ve been sick more days this year than I’ve been healthy.

The first couple of months of the year are always a little insane for me because it’s crunch time leading up to the conference that I work on. It goes fast, and requires a lot of hours and effort. But that’s just part of the deal. However, literally the Monday after the conference I got sick. I thought it was the flu so I took it easy for the week. I felt better for a day or so, but then got worse. I went to the doc to discover I had mono. MONO. I didn’t know anyone my age ever got mono. And it incubates for four to seven weeks in the system before it shows up, so I have no idea where or how I got it. My best guess is the grocery cart or something public that I touch, but I really don’t know. So, then for the next few months I made plans and broke them, having to reschedule everything because I wasn’t getting any better. I would never have guessed how bad mono was, and feel like I should’ve been more sympathetic to those I’ve known with it in the past.

Another couple of months past. I was approaching FIVE months of mono. I still had to take naps every afternoon just to get through the day. I hadn’t worked a full day since the conference. I had a couple of relapses along the way. This mess was crazy.

Then on September 12 I went to Tampa for an overnight work event. I knew it would be tough on my physically, but didn’t anticipate being sick all night long. I had to miss the first half of the next day of my work event so I could finally catch a few hours sleep. I somehow survived the following few hours to fly back home. The next morning I went to the doctor because I thought I might have another kidney infection, but of course, had to wait for results. The weekend was BRUTAL. Not only did my kidneys ache and I felt lousy, but my right side started hurting. I had no idea what was going on. Monday came and my doctor was out, so that night I finally decided to go to the ER (my first time). I even had to Google a hospital because I had no idea where one was located near me.

Well, it turned out that I was right about the kidney infection, but they had some surprising news for me–gallstones and an inflamed gallbladder. I didn’t really know what that meant. I think I was kind of in shock, actually, because I’d never had more than my wisdom teeth removed. The ER doc said that it meant that my gallbladder had to come out. I asked if I was supposed to make an appointment, and he told me that I was to be immediately moved upstairs into the main hospital and scheduled for surgery. WHAT. Now I can assure you I was in shock. I spent the next three days in the hospital pre and post surgery. I can assure you that I’d like to repeat that experience.

I got home last Thursday, and it’s been a long week of recovery. At first it kind of felt like the scene from Aliens where the innards become outards, and something pops out of the chest. But now it’s more of a soreness. It still mostly just feels weird that I was the one who actually had the surgery. And then, of course, there’s the kidney infection which has been glad to fill it’s role. But that, too, has been put in its place.

So, yeah, it’s been a weird year. My doctor even suggested that I get the flu shot in a few weeks. I didn’t understand why until she told me that I’d better prevent anything I can with the roll I’ve been on the last few months. I’m not only ready to finally be better, but ready for this year to be over. And fingers crossed, it won’t get any worse.

2012, I apologize. Let’s be friends.

(Come on, 2013.)


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Giving A Care

Not too long ago I was at a fundraising event with some friends. A great deal of money was raised in just a few hours, with more pledged to follow in just a few days time. It was really exciting to witness, and as the evening was drawing to a close, one of my friend’s looked at me and said, “It’s amazing what can happen when people actually give a care.” This statement really stuck with me, though not for the reasons you might think. It stuck with me because, in my case, it’s not true.

I’ve always been blessed with incredible friends. If it’s one thing I ever did right, it was the people I chose as my friends. And my friends have done wondrous things. They are givers. They’ve given to me, their friends and family, and many times, even strangers. The people I know and consider to be my friends do, in fact, actually give a care. Many of them may be broke for this very reason. 😉

Some of my friends have raised money with athletic organizations like Team in Training. Some have gone on local, regional, national and even international mission trips. Some have served in churches or shelters or political campaigns or soup kitchens or at nonprofits or animal hospitals or as mentors. They all have given days, but I can easily name those who’ve given weeks, months or years, cumulatively speaking. It would take more than my four extremities, actually, to name them. They give their money, their time, their talents and their influence.

A few summers back I distinctly remember getting close to 10 letters and emails from friends raising money for something. Note: this period was just a couple of months. I was freaking out trying to think of how I could send money to each of them because I wanted them to succeed. I’ve grown to realize that these letters and emails will be a regular occurrence for me. AT LEAST one of my friends will always be raising money at any given time. And that statement makes me smile.

I don’t say all of this just to brag on my friends, though they deserve it. While the frequency in which I receive these requests may be greater than yours, we all still suffer from a common syndrome at one time or another: compassion fatigue. (No, I didn’t make that term up.) Sometimes needs are presented to us so often that they can easily become 1) exhausting or 2) white noise. We give to all, some, or none. But couple these personal requests with what we see on the news, internet and radio, and it can quickly and easily become an emotional overload.

I would urge you to push through the compassion fatigue. There are times I give to causes just because my friends ask, not because I particularly am passionate or invested in the cause. And that’s ok. When I have the funds available to do that, I will do so happily. I want to support them in what they care about, and encourage them to keep at it. We all don’t have to care about the same things. Just care about something. And better yet, give part or all of your heart to it. Don’t just send a check, though those are always good, but personally invest your time, talents and influence as well. When we give a care, we are acknowledging that life exists outside of us. We gain a greater perspective of the world. We become good citizens of it. I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t want to make a difference, large or small. Giving a care is one way of doing that. Champion a cause and see how your life can change for the better. Realize that there’s more going on than just you. Understand that everything on this planet is not put here to serve you, but instead, serve the planet in some capacity. It won’t be a waste of your time, I promise.

Try different causes and see what fits. What makes you happy? What breaks your heart? Where do you see a need you can fill just by being you? What fuels your passion? For me, my two biggies are my faith and modern-day slavery. Both have taken over my heart like nothing else. I champion them because I can’t help myself; I feel compelled. What compels you?

Go on. Give a care.

(And if you need some help finding it, I’m happy to help you explore!)


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On Having Dual Personalities (of Sorts)

I have two people living inside me.

They fight for my attention.

Some days one wins; some days the other. But I’m not sure both can ever win at the same time.

I wouldn’t call them Dr. Jekyll and Mrs. Hyde. I wouldn’t call them Two Faced. Though two opposite sides of people are often expressed in movies, TV and literature as only good and bad, I find myself with a good and good. At least that’s what I’d call them.

The first me likes having a home, likes making the home look nice, and really likes acquiring stuff. She doesn’t crave stability by any means, but she likes a framework to move within. She doesn’t want to own a house for that still feels a bit like a cage, but she likes making the home she lives in feel warm and inviting. She likes buying books and movies and decor and electronics and kitchen appliances (though she doesn’t know how to use them very well). She doesn’t enjoy clutter, in fact she periodically purges to avoid extreme excess, but she does have comfy surroundings and a VERY long Amazon Wish List. I wouldn’t say she puts down roots, but she does enjoy watching relationships, places and surroundings grow to be a part of her. She doesn’t resist change by any stretch of the imagination, but maintains a flirtation with it, and welcomes it in from time to time.

And then there is the second me. She regrets the day everything she owned didn’t fit in her car anymore. She likes the idea of a well-decorated home, but isn’t convinced she needs it for herself. She only needs a reliable car to get her to where she wants to go next. She thinks she’s got some gypsy blood in her, but isn’t sure where it came from, because every couple of months she’s ready to move. To see new places. To have new experiences. She wants every day to be different and unknown. She thrives on adventure. She despises acquiring stuff because 1) she really doesn’t need it despite her wants and 2) so many people around the world have so little. So why not send the money and stuff to them instead? She doesn’t resist change; she embraces it with a huge smile as if it’s always overdue.

While reading about the two sides of me, you most likely identified more with one over the other. I think most people do. I’m sure even the more “tame” side of me isn’t near stable enough for some of you. (I know that because I’ve talked to you.) And in fact, the opposing side may even seem ludicrous to you. But, I promise, these two people live within me. Neither is bad.

Different isn’t bad. It’s just different.

But I’ll tell you one thing, it’s really hard for these two to take up occupancy inside me. The first side side has been the side that shows up most often, and sometimes I really am unsure why, while the second side plays the prominent role at only certain times. But usually, the side that isn’t winning is screaming to be in front. I’m sure the means and opportunity are the only thing standing in the second me’s way.

I think we’re often taught by society that my second me is flaky or irresponsible. Sure, it’s romanticized in movies, TV and literature, but when it comes down to it, come on? You can’t really live that way.

But I disagree. Didn’t the apostles live like the second me? I’ve lived like the second me at times and enjoyed the heck out of it. Not everything has to change in a couple thousand years. Don’t the aforementioned romanticized people often inspire you? They do me. And you only need know me to know that no matter which side is dominant, I’m not flaky or irresponsible. I may take risks, but they are calculated and prayerful. I just don’t understand life without risk. What a bore! I certainly don’t want to live that way. Both me’s need a calling, adventure and to be part of something larger. That is a constant no matter which side is taking the lead. That’s what I believe being a disciple of Christ is all about.

Control is out of my hands. Though I’m still in recovery, I tried to let go of my control freak side a long time ago. What a waste of time–trying to control. I was only trying to do a job that I professed was God’s, but in the end, must have secretly thought I’d be better at. I learned submission, and in that, opened new doors to adventure. Liberation. Now I understand truly what freedom is about. Some adventures are more tame, and they are for the first me. They are every day adventures (yes, they exist). And then there are the epic ones for the second me, and they are grand indeed. They leave a longing in me for more…much more. And that is why second me will always be part of my scenario. And honestly, I’m grateful for that.

I guess I’m learning to reconcile that having both sides of me is a good thing, though some days that’s harder to grasp. Sure, they are variations of the oneness of me, not necessarily polar opposites. And certainly not good and bad. They are both a gift, both of value, and both given by God. Which one I’ll wake up as, I never know. But then again, isn’t that part of the adventure?


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Appreciating “The Process”

screen-shot-2016-12-10-at-1-54-25-pmI’m a bit of a nerd when it comes to movies. I don’t watch them for the entertainment value, though I do enjoy them at times simply for that reason (my guilty pleasure dance movies, for example). But this business of show is one that I wanted to work in for a godd part of my life, so the appeal to me is more than the final product. I love the process. And when I watch a movie on screen or at home, I see the process. I appreciate everything that went into it. I look for themes, appreciate the beauty of the cinematography and lighting, listen to the writing come to life, marvel at the effects and pull out truths. And if you’ve ever been to the movies with me, you know that I typically sit through the credits afterward (and arrive promptly for the trailers and pre-show trivia). I watch the credits for a couple of reasons. One is that it lets me reflect on what I’ve just seen. They’ve given me the appropriate music to sit there and contemplate or discuss the things I liked, and maybe didn’t like. The second thing is that I want to recognize all the people that contributed to the film. I read the names of just about everything I can, not just the celebrities. I know they all played a role in the process of getting the film to me, and I’m thankful (usually). We’ve been on this journey together, and we’ll finish together.

Over the past week or so, I’ve been watching one of my all-time favs, The Lord of the Rings trilogy. I watch it at least twice each year, sometimes up to three or four times. I can’t get enough, and at the end, I’m always ready to start it over. I think it’s just a brilliant piece of movie-making on so many levels. Sometimes I watch just the movies, but sometimes I watch all the special features, too. I bought the Extended Edition on Blu-ray on Black Friday, so that gives me…over 27 hours of special features and footage. Nope, that doesn’t include the movies. Add in another 11+ hours for those. I can honestly say I get just as excited over watching the special features as I do the feature films. I laugh, I cry, but mostly I’m amazed. I appreciate the process. There are no words to describe the thought and detail that went into this trilogy. You can see how much the people love the books, and therefore, tried so hard to honor them. It is inspiring to me. I could never catch it all, even after having watched the special features a couple of times. And I love that.

In watching them this time, I started evaluating why I love the special features so much when so very few comparatively would dare (or care) to watch them all. I’m not a big Tolkien fan, though I think his work is astounding. I know it’s sacrilege to some to say this though, but I prefer the movies to the books. I’m a movie person, though. A filmie, my friend Daron calls me. But half of the reason I love these movies is that I love the special features. And in that, I love the process.

As I starting relating it to me and my life, I had a thought. I am, and I think this applies to many of us, always concerned about the beginning and the end. Sure there are always twists and turns in the middle, but mostly I want to know where something came from and where something ends. For example, I’m overly concerned about where I’m headed in life. (I still don’t know yet so don’t ask.) Where I am is always setting the stage for what’s next. I want to know what’s ahead for me, especially when times are hard. I don’t always appreciate my process. It’s hard, it’s tiring, it’s frustrating, it’s…not always fun. And I love fun. You can also take the prime example of a female like me. When she’s single it’s, when will she date? When she’s dating it’s, when will she get married? When she’s married it’s, when will she have kids? Sheesh. Let the woman enjoy one stage for a moment, will ya! I hear these remarks all the time from friends, females and males alike rather frequently. It’s never enough to be where you are. It’s only about where you’re going next. And frankly, that’s a shame.

Let’s take a lesson from my friend, Sam.

LOTR, for me, isn’t about the creatures or the monsters or the wizards or the hot elf who’s handy with a bow, it’s about the truths that I relate to and the process of storytelling. This scene, Sam’s speech, is my favorite in the entire series. It was sort of a last minute addition from the writers to tie up some loose ends and add some closure. I think it’s so beautiful. I watch it multiple times when I watch the movie, and tear up every time. I think it’s such a lovely description of not only life, but my Christian faith. (Yep, I tend to be a bit dramatic.)

We are living great stories, ones that really matter. And stories have a beginning, middle and end. (Note: otherwise you’re telling it wrong, Michelle.) The middle is the detail. Sure, sometimes that can be tedious, but it shapes and adds greater significance to the beginning and end. The middle is what makes us who we are. It gets us to the end. To forget that is to forget ourselves. That’s what happens when we’re “too small to see it” as Sam says. We can easily want to ignore the middle because it’s where we’re living, and not always where we want to be. But there are important lessons there, and to miss them is a tragedy. It could just be the plot twist we’ve been looking for.

My friends and I, and my favorite authors and workplace for that matter, talk about living great stories. That doesn’t mean you necessarily have to go cure AIDS or move to Africa or acquire a fortune. It could, but it doesn’t have to. It simply means recognizing where God has you and doing the best you can with it. He’ll take care of the rest. He’s given you what you need to be right there at that moment. It may not always be to our liking, but there is greater purpose it in. I truly believe it. He has placed me in His narrative for a reason. That’s a tremendous thought. He. Has. Placed. ME.  It may not be for one job or one person or one calling or even one phone call, but it’s all mine because He destined me to be here. And I want to make the most of every opportunity He gives me, large or small, beginning middle or end, because He thinks I’m important enough to take on. It’s given to me. My responsibility, and my privilege.

The above is a picture of a decal from my bedroom wall. I see it at least twice a day, when I get up and when I go to sleep. I wanted it that way to remind me over and over again, since I can be a little stubborn (no comments, please), that my story is important. It sure doesn’t always feel that way, but I know in my heart and my head that it is. And it reminds me that the middle of the story is where life happens. And I truly do want to live a story worth telling, but takes a lot of work every day. Little by little. Sentence by sentence. Sometimes word by word. But in the end, it’ll be a heck of a story because I won’t skip over the parts that made me sad or uncomfortable. Those parts add punctuation to the highlights. They are mine, and want to do them justice.

The process is just as important, or more so, than the ending. The final product didn’t just happen. It was often painstakingly pieced together from more details than we’ll ever know, from more people than we’ll ever realize. It’s a mosaic, a tapestry, of what living is all about.

Appreciate the process. It’s the only one you’ll ever have. And tell someone the story of your life, taking lots of time in the middle. And remember, you’re not done until you reach the very end. (Hint: if you’re breathing, you’re not done.) “There’s room for a little more” as Frodo says.

PS – I’m sure more LOTR posts are in my future, but if you’d like to read my lessons learned from them in 2009, here they are: one, two, and three.

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