Mental Post-Its

Thoughts, Notes, and General Mental Mayhem


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A Little LOST

SPOILER ALERTS!!!

As many “others” prepared for the Season 6 premier of LOST on Tuesday night, I’ve been steadily watching recaps (thank you, iTunes) of the previous seasons. So much has happened to my castaway friends that as I prepared to watch Season 5 on Netflix, I felt I first needed a refresher course. And while it’s hard not staying in synch with those watching the in-season episodes each week, I’m excited that I still have quite a bit of time left with my island friends.

The last two recap episodes were very different in that co-creater, Damon Lindeloff, and one of the producers interjected comments between scenes, set up background info and provided insight into the minds of the characters. They really began delving into the psyche of our heroes and villains (also watching last season of Heroes, FYI) and I began to identify with some of them. Here are a few I thought I’d share…

JACK: I also feel the need to step up and lead to fill voids. I probably also struggle, though not near as much as I used to or as much as Jack does, with the “savior” complex and the need to help fix people. I, too, feel a great deal of loyalty and protection for those I love. I have had to return to places of great pain. We differ in that I am not a big fan of blood or needles.

KATE: Like Kate, I can feel conflicted in my decisions or deeply torn between two choices. You may have noticed that I also have freckles. And I also like to feel involved and not left behind. I want to be part of the action. We have both had crushes on the Jacks AND the Sawyers of the world. We differ in that I’ve never blown up my mother’s boyfriend.

SAWYER: I make literary references. James has actually read the books and I’ve mostly seen the movies, but nonetheless, I get the references! I also have things in my past I’m not proud of. Stubborn and resourceful are two qualities we share. We differ in that I’ve never conned any woman out of thousands of dollars.

LOCKE: John and I have a strong sense of faith, destiny and purpose. We are both willing to look a little foolish for the things we believe in. And we each have a great sense of adventure and curiosity. We differ in that my father has never stolen a kidney from me.

SAYID: I think we are both driven people. We have absolutely been searched at the airport more than once. We have different kinds of wounds, but woulds still. Underneath it all, we want to be kind and compassionate. We differ in that I was never a member of the Republican Guard, or any guard.

HUGO: We have both worked in the restaurant industry. I have also felt crazy from time to time. I have a strong moral streak. Like Hugo, I also want to see people get along and make others laugh. We differ in that I have never won the lottery.

JIN: We both like Korean food. I have also been in places where I don’t speak the language, literally and metaphorically, and have felt out of place. I also want to be useful. We differ in that I have never worked in a hotel.

SUN: I have also helped teach someone English. We both have a great desire to do the right thing. I struggle with tradition and my own independence. We differ in that I have never been married to a Korean man.

CLAIRE: We both really love peanut butter. I have also been to the doctor a lot recently. I have blue eyes. Claire and I hate feeling helpless. We differ in that I have never given birth in the jungle.

BEN: We both have a thing for the Wizard of Oz. We each have the power to manipulate (having is different from using). I also long for a more perfect world. We differ in that I have never caused a genocide.

CHARLIE: We have both let our vices control our actions from time to time. Our heart often dictates our head. We would sacrifice most anything for our friends. We differ in that I have never had a rock album. (You all, everybody!)

MICHAEL: We both lived in New York. We have each had our hearts broken. I, too, get irritated easily. We were both annoyed by Anna Lucia. We differ in that I would not name my child Walt, as much as I love Disney.

DESMOND: We are both crappy sailors. We both “pushed buttons” for too long. I have also been separated from friends and family for periods of time. We differ in that I don’t like calling people, “brother”.

JULIET: We have taken one assignment and ended up in another. I’ve felt like an Outsider among the Insiders. I am pretty confident as well. We differ in that I probably wouldn’t be a part of a book club.

Well, that was fun. Enough about me. Which character(s) do you identify with and why?

PS – Thank you JJ Abrams, for yet again bringing something of quality to television.


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All The World’s A Stage

Been talking to a lot of people lately who are “waiting” or in “holding patterns” or “anxious” in their lives. Basically, folks looking for what’s next. I feel very much the same way…most of the time.

However, I have to continually remind myself that no matter what stage I’m in, there is always one behind me and one ahead of me. We never leave stages. They are inherently part of life, yet we always feel pressure (by ourselves or others) to get to the next one. Why is this? Maybe this is why patience is a virtue.

Now I can understand the pressure to move forward because I’m a driven sort of person. Standing still can often feel like moving backwards. I’d rather go out of my way two hours in traffic than sit still. I just want to be moving. But I can also rush into things, move ahead before I am probably ready. In the traffic scenario, which is actually the waste? What is being wasted? Time? Gas? Patience? And coming from a theater background, it seems I would love to always have a stage. I mean, I’ve got the costumes, for goodness sake. Sadly, even I grow tired of them. Stages can be no fun if you don’t know your lines.

One particular stage I’ve been in for about two years now. I didn’t see it coming and I am pretty cloudy about the end date as well. Ain’t that just the way? However, if there is one thing I’ve learned it’s that there is plenty to do while waiting. I’ve definitely been in stages where I just wasted time. I was angry or bitter or bored or something. And I saw the stage as a waste of my time, so my sharp logic just told me to stare right back and waste away with it. That’ll teach it! No PhD here, folks. But I’m happy to say that as I’ve matured, I’ve been better at utilizing the waiting time. I am more aware of the benefits of the stage, using them as preparation rather than stagnation. After all, what a shame it would be to grow to the next stage having learned nothing from the current one. That’s the real waste. And it probably means I won’t get all I can from the next one either. I’m setting up a negative chain reaction.

Recently, I started going through the workbook Experiencing God again. (TANGENT: This Bible study changed my life the first time I did it a couple years ago, and it’s currently doing it again. It’s amazing and I highly recommend it if you’d like to grow and mature in your relationship with God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit.) Last night’s lesson was entitled “God Speaks with a Purpose.” In it, Henry Blackaby notes, “God develops character to match the assignment. Do not assume, however, that the moment God calls you, you are prepared for the assignment. Many of us don’t want to give attention to the development of our character; we just want God to give us a big assignment. But if you are not willing to be faithful in a little, God will not give you larger assignments.” Ok, ouch Blackaby, now it’s just getting personal! Guilty as charged, more often than I care to admit.

As I’ve gone through the workbook, though, the action step I come away with over and over again in relation to this stage is “wait and listen.” Frustrating still, because I’m a doer. I’m good at getting things done. But if my desire is to do God’s Will, I guess I’ll have to wait and listen. And that is my desire. So I’m trying my best to be an active listener. God isn’t calling me to sit and do nothing. I need to look around and see how He is working on my character in this stage. I am trying my hardest to take the small assignments and be faithful in them. Sure, like everyone, I want the big assignments. I pray repeatedly, though, that that desire is not for my own glory, but His. And I want to play my part in His story. I want the assignments He wants for me. I don’t want to waste time and miss out. Sometimes it’s those small assignments that actually stay with me the longest, affect me the most or offer a shared experience with someone close. I really do believe, just as there are no small parts in theater, there are no small assignments in God’s Kingdom. I mean, I still get to play a role in the Creator of the Universe’s story! How could there be a small assignment there? I’m a part of the plan of salvation, the ministry of reconciliation!

Blackaby also pointed out not to assume that the moment you are called, you will be prepared. Therefore, the current (and next) stage requires active listening as well. In fact, it may very well be this preparation and growth that not only elevates you to the next stage, but makes you crave it. And I think this is an encouraging thought. It would then mean that waiting is directly correlative to advancement. And what could be wasteful about that? Ironic. Counter-intuitive. Cool. That’s a stage I can play on. That’s a stage I can really live in, and love living in.

So, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to get back to my waiting. It’s a busy time for me, and I’m sure you understand. (Let me know how yours goes, too.)


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New Wineskins

I’m in the middle of a 21-day journal focused on “Renewal in the Body of Christ”. Each day only has a short thought and scripture, but I always find it challenging. One, in particular, stuck with me this week. I’ve thought about it repeatedly over the past couple of days, pushing myself to really explore it’s message.

Below is what it said. I hope you find it challenging and thought-provoking as well…

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SCRIPTURE:
Matthew 9:17 (NLT) “And no one puts new wine into old wineskins. For the old skins would burst from the pressure, spilling the wine and ruining the skins. New wine is stored in new wineskins so that both are preserved.”

PERSONAL REFLECTION:
An old wineskin is hardened and cracks easily when new wine is put into it; as the new wine ferments and expands, it runs out of room due to the old wineskin’s inability to be flexible. The Body of Christ must be willing to be flexible as he pressure of our changing world demands that we expand to include new ways of thinking and reaching those who are lost. In a rapidly changing global environment, our old ways are not going to be as effective as they once were. We must learn how to be Spirit-led and Spirit-formed so that we don’t camp out in any one way of doing ministry. Ask God to release a new wind of the Spirit upon the church to guide His Church in the right direction. Pray that the church has an open ear and willing heart to understand and take action on the Spirit’s direction.

PRAYING THROUGH SCRIPTURE:
1 Corinthians 2:10-16 (MSG) “Jesus, we know your Spirit isn’t content to flit around on the surface, but instead you dive into the depths of God and bring out His plans to us. Only you know what you’re thinking and planning – but you let us in on it, giving us a full report. We don’t have to rely on the world’s guesses and opinions. We don’t have to learn by reading books or going to school – instead we can learn person-to-person through you and pass it on in a personal, firsthand way. As your church, if we are spiritually alive, we can have access to everything you are doing. We don’t have to wonder ‘what you’re doing’ – you know and we have your spirit within us. Let us be open to each new direction and instruction, moving fluidly with you to be Spirit-led and Spirit-formed.”

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At the end of each day’s page, it asks, “Going forward I’m committed to…”. My short answer was to become a new wineskin and to encourage others to do the same. Having grown up in the church and participating in a local congregation, I know I can be short-sighted sometimes. I get stuck in the way I like things. I forsake change for my own comfort. But in doing so, I can easily listen more to myself than the Spirit. After all, you start doing that and you are just asking for trouble! But I must remember that I’m not called to be comfortable. I’m called to be part of a larger story, one that doesn’t grant me center stage. (Whoa, hit to my ego.) But the greatest and best things I’ve done in my life were areas where I took risk and listened to the Spirit. I got in a little trouble. I got rid of the old wineskin.

So now I pray for you, Church, be new wineskins. Stretch. Grow. Look at new ways of doing ministry. Open your hearts and let the Spirit speak. And when He does, be prepared to move.

Oh, and how would you answer?


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Happy Anniversary

…to me. Wednesday the 13th, I celebrated nine years of living in Georgia. It was a cold, winter’s night in 2001 that Heather and I pulled into her parent’s driveway. I was really excited, and a little scared. It was a new life and I felt out of my element as their subdivision sometimes felt larger than my college.

But I’ve adjusted and adapted, and now feel very at home here. I cannot begin to count the numerous blessings that God has given me me since living here. I am more thankful for this experience than any words could ever express, and I love to use words.

I do think it would be good, however, to note a few of the significant blessings – a highlights reel, if you will – of my time here. Now, I know this list could go on for days but I’m just going to throw a few out here.

1. The Bundys: Bill and Deedee gave me a home and family here in Atlanta. Since I met them 1996, they have welcomed me as one of their own. They even gave me a sister and best friend in Heather…and lots of extended family. I still miss Thanksgiving with them every year.

2. North Atlanta Church of Christ: a place of spiritual development and a safe place to grow. I can’t imagine how different I might be if I hadn’t spent years with these people. They will always have a significant place in my heart. I have so many friends for life from here.

3. The Reynolds Group: really learned to love food in a whole, new way here. I grew significantly as a professional here, too, and began my desire to pursue writing, a true passion. And am thankful to say that I still have great relationships with friends here, even though I have moved on.

4. Trifecta+1: Daron, Mark and I are the Trifecta and Margaret is our plus one. These three have helped me in more ways than they will ever realize. They are continually a source of encouragement, creativity, accountability and love. Through them, God has shown me the direction for my life. I feel a little undeserving of them at times, so I’m thankful they accept me. These people are my heart living outside my chest.

5. The People: Yes, this may sound a like a cheap plug to include “the little people,” but I truly do mean it. I think I could live in any big city and find contentment. And while I adore the art/music/theater/restaurant/entertainment venues, it’s the people here who capture my attention. When I say, “I love Atlanta” (which I’ve said often, by the way), I always mean the people. There are a ton of people I have yet to talk specifically about who are very dear to me. I hope you know who you are because I hope that I tell you enough. If not, I’m sorry and I’ll try and do better. You make this city special to me.

While other ranking honorable mentions may include diabetic sweet tea, my favorite restaurants and four seasons, I think the above will suffice for now. I don’t know if I’ll “settle” down here in Atlanta (or anywhere for that matter), but I’m willing to go wherever God calls me. Just know a part of me will always remain in Hotlanta!


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2010: Action

I guess, like everyone else, as I welcome the New Year I also think about the previous year and years past. It’s a time of reflection and renewal. And while it’s a little daunting, it’s also a little exciting.

My friends, Daron and Margaret, and I have this sort of annual tradition. It’s something Daron came up with several years ago to help us all set the tone for a new year. Instead of just looking back on a year and determining what happened and where we are now, we look ahead and decide what we want our next year to be about. Much like our Emergence training, it’s not about reacting to something that happens to you along the way. Rather it’s setting out with intention, focusing your efforts on where you feel like God is leading you on your path. I will also say that usually there is a theme song attached. And really, why wouldn’t there be?

So as the New Year approached, I began thinking about my 2010 and what I wanted from it. My word for 2009 was “PREPARE” (theme song was “Prepare Ye The Way” by Caedmon’s Call) and I absolutely see again and again how that was accomplished and how appropriate it was for the past 12 months. I have been through so many changes, personally, professionally, spiritually over the past year, many of which I never saw coming but I’m so thankful to have been a part of.

It’s really insane to think of how different my life is now from where I thought it would be if you’d asked me, or for those of you who did ask me, years ago. I absolutely detest the “Where do you see yourself in five years?” question in interviews but I’m also human, and my mind can’t help but wander to those scenarios. Wowzers! I never would’ve imagined myself where I am now – personally, professionally and spiritually. But then again, that’s the genius and adventure of following Jesus. Sure, there are some things I’d change if it were left up to me. However, overall, I’ve seen and experienced and been through more than I was ever able to imagine. I am loving this ride!

So, I’ve decided that my word for 2010 is “ACTION” (theme song is “Awaken Us” by Casey Darnell). It’s not just a natural transition from my 2009 word, but it does accurately describe where I feel God has my heart currently. He has prepared me, and been faithful in that, so I am choosing to respond. I don’t think I could’ve acted on the things to which He’s calling me without my year of preparation. But I feel empowered, and I’m too curious not to move forward in His plans. I trust Him. He’s not let me down yet, so I have no reason to think He would anytime soon.

I heard a fantastic lesson by Dennis Rouse at Victory World Church this past Sunday morning. If you get the chance, give it a listen at www.victoryatl.com. It was called “Forward” and so many of the things spoke to me. You know, it was one of those lessons that was meant just for me (or you). One of the things that stuck with me was, “You’ve never played it safe before. Why do that now?” That kinda hit me right between the eyes, and I felt like it summed me up pretty well. And though there is a lot of uncertainty when I look ahead, I know I can handle it because He is with me. I just can’t imagine the wreck of a person I’d be otherwise. I would never have made it this far or accomplished anything of importance without Him. I might have made some really interesting achievements by some standards, but I wouldn’t have had the adventure of my life, which is what I’m on now! Sure, it can be really hard. It can be unexpected. It can even be unwanted. But it’s always what is best for me. I can’t always see that at the time, but it’s super cool to look back at the threads of my story and see the intricacy with which they are woven. I wouldn’t give that up.

“When you stop moving forward, you start losing your effectiveness for the Kingdom of God….Forward is your destiny; backward is your slavery.” – Dennis Rouse

So, 2010, you are shiny and new (two things I’m particularly fond of)…and I’m really looking forward to getting to know you better.