Mental Post-Its

Thoughts, Notes, and General Mental Mayhem


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My First Personal Retreat

me timeI’ve taken several vacations by myself, but New Year’s Day marked my first personal retreat. And it was time. Actually, it was way overdue.

At the end of last year, I was exhausted in every way, and had chosen RENEW as my word/theme for the year. I really wanted to cling to that word, but needed a catalyst to help get me there. So, I used some hotel points to get away. I knew if I stayed home I’d find too many distractions.

Rome, Georgia, ended up being the destination. And I was able to check in early and check out late, to maximize my stay. I had my computer, a few books, and a ready heart. (And, of course, a change of clothes.) I’d already been collecting resources that I wanted to work through, but as I predicted, ending up following a few rabbit trails, too.

My original intent was just to spend the night and fit in all my retreat activities into that 24 hour period. But I was tired and kept stumbling upon new resources so I ended up extending the retreat through the weekend, at home. Being able to focus at the hotel proved to be a great starting point, though. It gave me the energy and determination to keep up the work . . . but there may have been a pedicure and couple Netflix breaks. I mean, come on, we’re talking about 72 hours here. I’m not a monk.

These are the primary resources that I spent time with:

They are awesome, and I’d recommend any of them. They greatly enhanced my retreat, and I believe, came to me at just the right time.

There are also a few (hopefully) regular practices that came out of this weekend, which I believe will help to keep me RENEWed during the year. The first is The Five Minute Journal, mentioned above. I hate journaling, but this one was recommended on a podcast I listen to, and it sounded like something I could do. It’s just a couple bullet points to answer each morning and evening, and there is an introduction that shows the reasoning and science behind the questions. So far, even in my most groggy morning state, I’ve been able to keep up.

The second is meditation. I’ve tried it before, and failed miserably. My mind is constantly going 90 miles an hour! But like journaling, I know the benefits and want to reap them. I need to be able to clear my mind and listen in silence. That will do me a world of good. And meditation is one of those things that kept popping up around me in various ways at the end of the year, so I knew it was time to try again. The blog post mentioned above by Rick Warren also speaks in-depth to the practice. (Funny note: I have a book called The Will Power Instinct that I started several years ago. But the first chapter says that you have to be able to meditate for 10 minutes to continue the book in order to get the most out of it—so, yep, I’ve never finished. Maybe this is the year!)

The third is, well, to borrow another Rick Warren-ism, purposeful relaxation. The second half of that blog post was what I actually went online to find, and strangely, it was paired with meditation. I’d heard him speak on the topic before at a conference, and couldn’t remember exactly how it was phrased. I love the way he puts it: divert daily, withdraw weekly and abandon annually. Honestly, it’s going to be hard. I’m a multi-tasker. But for me, one of the best ways to do this is to unplug for a while. I’m usually connected even when I travel, so there is usually a nagging feeling that something needs my attention. It’s going to be a hard lesson to learn, and hard to fit into life when there is always something pressing. However, as he notes, if Jesus felt the need to do it, I should too. So, I’m trying to weave more of this into my life.

And that’s it! That was my personal retreat. It was wonderful. Another lesson that came from this time was just how valuable it was, and that this is something I should continue however I can. I usually try and fit books and articles and podcasts into the busyness, but having this dedicated time for it, with a specific purpose in mind, was well, RENEWing.

The reality of life hit me hard just after my personal retreat. Of course it did. Of. Course. It. Did. And it was frustrating because I wanted to keep the good vibes going. Life was interrupting my zen! But I realized that I wouldn’t have been prepared for it without this retreat. So, it’s already served me well in ways I couldn’t predict, and I guess that’s just another reason I should continue.

First one down, hopefully many more to go.

 

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My Word for 2016

ThinkstockPhotos-465545201

RENEW. Sorry, I just couldn’t hold it in! I’ve been bursting to tell you that my word for the year is RENEW!

It came to me almost instantly about a month ago. In the car that morning, I thought it was time to start thinking forward to 2016, and it just popped in my head. And I knew immediately that it was right. (Strangely enough, it was also written on the mug of a co-worker I sat behind in staff meeting just an hour later!)

In coming to the end of last year, I was exhausted . . . mentally. After dealing with chronic illness for three and a half years, I know what physical exhaustion is. But mental exhaustion was settling in fast, and I was kind of panicking. Thinking of this word, though, gave me hope. Shortly after, I met with my mentor, Holly. A mentor is someone everyone needs in their life, and Holly has blessed me immensely. She comforted me, encouraged me, supported me, and then empowered me with some Bible passages she’d just read earlier that same day. It was no chance that we met that morning.

Isaiah 43: 16-21 MSG

Forget about what’s happened;
    don’t keep going over old history.
Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new.
    It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it?
There it is! I’m making a road through the desert,
    rivers in the badlands.
Wild animals will say ‘Thank you!’
    —the coyotes and the buzzards—
Because I provided water in the desert,
    rivers through the sun-baked earth,
Drinking water for the people I chose,
    the people I made especially for myself,
    a people custom-made to praise me.

This is one of the scriptures she read to me that morning, and now it is also my verse for the year. I think it paints a beautiful picture, and one that will bring me comfort this year.

And I’m a little surprised, considering where I was just a few weeks ago, but I’m actually excited this year is starting. There’s just something special and enticing about “new.” And now I feel better prepared as well.

Coming very soon, I’ll tell you all about the personal retreat I took this weekend to RENEW and recharge. It was the first of its kind for me, and I would not have been ready for 2016 without it. It definitely helped get me on the right track. Maybe it can help you too.

For now, though, I’m just going to enjoy my (RE)NEW YEAR.

Do you have a word for the year? If so, I’d love to hear it.

And you can read about last year’s word here.

____________________________________

So, what is all this word for the year business? So glad you asked! I love telling people about it. Basically, a few friends and I started this tradition a number of years ago. It’s a way to look at the year intentionally and proactively in the beginning, rather than only coming to the end of a year and reflecting. We think the latter is more of a reactive stance, and should be more helpful. So, we wanted to set a tone for our year that would help us get where we wanted to go.

This tradition was reinforced again for me a few days ago when I started my Five Minute Journal. It was recommended on a podcast I listened to and sounded really interesting, so I ordered it and started on January 1.

But here’s a snippet from their introduction:

There’s a small part of your brain called the reticular activation system (RAS) that turns on and off your perception of ideas and thoughts, and determines the lenses through which you look at the world. When you take an action like buying a new car, you’ve taken a major step in redefining your possessions and your RAS changes to accommodate your new acquisition. And everywhere you go, your RAS will gently remind you of this change by pointing out others who have the same car as you.

When you write ‘What would make today great?’ (one of the daily questions asked), you’re taking a step to influence your RAS to point out and engage in activities that would make your day better. You’re building new pathways in your brain that allow you to ‘see’ what you can do to improve your well being every day. You’re creating a new program in your mind that naturally leans to improve your happiness. Doing this consistently gives you consistently better days. It’s that simple.

Voila! And you thought I just made this stuff up. 😉

And I discovered as I prepared for 2015 that there are a lot more people who utilize a word for the year. If you’re interested, here are two other great resources to help get you started:

One Word That Will Change Your Life

My One Word

Wishing you a wonderful 2016!

 

(Note: Amazon links are affiliate links.)


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A Franciscan Benediction For You

A Franciscan Benediction
May God bless us with discomfortIMG_1380
At easy answers, half-truths, and superficial relationships
So that we may live from deep within our hearts.

May God bless us with anger
At injustice, oppression, and exploitation of God’s creations
So that we may work for justice, freedom, and peace.

May God bless us with tears
To shed for those who suffer pain, rejection, hunger, and war,
So that we may reach out our hands to comfort them and
To turn their pain into joy.

And may God bless us with just enough foolishness
To believe that we can make a difference in the world,
So that we can do what others claim cannot be done:
To bring justice and kindness to all our children and all our neighbors who are poor.
Amen.


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My 2015 Reading List

Row of vintage worn booksI discovered some fantastic books this year! And, as you’ll see, they cover quite a few topics. It’s good to have more than one interest, right?

If you’re looking for some suggestions for your very own reading list, take a look at these. And let me know of anything that you recommend for my 2016 list!

Looking for other suggestions? Here are my previous reading lists:

2014

2013

2012

2011

 

(Note: Amazon links are affiliate links.)


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Catalyst: Favorite Notes and Quotes

CatalystAndy Stanley, Senior Pastor of North Point Ministries

  • Theology is what you believe. Ministry is what you do as a result of what you believe.
    • Ministry should change all the time, but not theology.
    • If you have bad theology, it will narrow what you minister to.
    • Jesus had perfect theology, and yet there is no one He wouldn’t minister to.
  • Churches who get this, and Christians will always be attractive to people.
  • To awaken the wonder of the world to the wonder of the church, we should take our cues from: Something Jesus said, something said about Jesus, something Jesus said without saying it, and something Jesus didn’t say.
  • Something said about Jesus: He embodied grace and truth. (John 1:14, 17)
    • Jesus never dumbed down the truth and never turned down the grace.
    • The grace/truth tension requires that we present the ideal while embracing what’s real.
  • Something Jesus said without saying it: Distinguish theology from ministry. (Matthew 9: 9-13)
    • Distinguishing between theology and ministry liberates ministry without compromising theology.
    • When churches fail to distinguish between theology and ministry, ministry becomes rigid and idealistic.
  • Something Jesus didn’t say: Never give up influence unnecessarily. (Luke 20:1-8)
    • Never make a point at the expense of making a difference.
    • Think twice before answering a question that has the potential to burn a bridge or close a door.
  • Something Jesus actually said: Love your enemies. (Matthew 5:43-45)
    • Objection: But didn’t Jesus say we should be concerned about people speaking well of us? No, of Jesus.
    • Think about the groups that would usually push back against your local church. How can you love them?
  • Conclusion:
    • Teach the ideal and embrace what’s real.
    • Teach your teams to distinguish between theology and ministry.
    • Never give up influence unnecessarily.
    • Identify your potential enemies and love them.

Dr. Brene Brown, Best-Selling Author

  • Leaders, know that you will fall a some point.
  • 3 ways to manage shame: move away, move toward and move against
  • When something hard happens to us, emotion gets the first crack at handling it and making sense of it.
    • As much as we think we are thinking beings, we are emotional beings.
  • The brain is hard-wired for survival.
    • The brain wants a story to make sense.
  • Both brains and hearts respond to stories – logically and emotionally.
    • The brain rewards us even if the truth is ambiguous. It just needs the logic of a narrative. Vulnerability and uncertainty are the enemy.
  • Getting through hard emotions well:
    • Try to recognize when they’re triggered by emotion.
      • You can’t create an innovative, loving landscape without understanding emotion.
      • You must have a high capacity for discomfort.
      • You need an understanding of your own emotional landscape, as well as the landscape of your people.
    • Good leaders are mindful and breathing.
      • Mindfullness =  paying attention, pray
      • We are better at inflicting pain than dealing with our own.
    • Rumble with the story we’re making up.
      • SFD (Shitty First Draft) – We don’t need shame about being human.
      • Consider writing immediate thoughts to help you deal. it’s telling what comes to mind first. It helps you deal.
      • In the absence of data, we make up a story, but we need to get the facts straight!
      • When you own your story, you get to write the ending. If you don’t, it owns you.
      • “The story I’m telling myself right now…” is the conversation you have with a person you have a conflict with. Let them clarify.
    • If you’re not falling, you’re not being brave enough.

Trip Lee, Award-winning Hip Hop Recording Artist and Author

  • Use music to celebrate God. (Exodus 18)
    • We are always standing on the other side of the Red Sea.
  • Use music to express pain and frustration.
    • We do not have a cold, dead Bible that doesn’t understand human experience.
    • We do not have a God that can’t handle our pain and suffering.
  • Use music to teach and encourage.
  • Use music for joy.

Margaret Feinberg, Author

  • Religious familiarity breeds unholy cynicism.
  • Isaiah 29: 13-14
  • Joy is the weapon we use to fight life’s battles. How will you respond to bad situations?
  • Rejoice when it makes no sense.
    • Rejoice in the Lord always, and again, I say rejoice.
    • Do it one square inch at a time.
    • Proclaim to the darkness that it will not win!
  • Remain suspicious that God is up to something good.
    • Joseph’s story.
    • Good things still came from Margaret’s cancer.
    • When we search for the goodness of God, we will find it.

Erwin McManus, Founder of Mosaic Church and Author

  • What makes us uniquely human? Hebrews 11
  • Faith restores our humanity.
  • We are only species that can live beneath our intention.
  • we seem to have more confidence is what we have, than what we hope for.
  • Hope only exists in the future. We are created for the future.
  • we need to move beyond enlightenment to living in the Light.
  • The question is not if you will create, but what kind of future you will create.
  • You are living in a future someone else dreamed of.
  • You can only create outside of you what is reflected inside of you.
  • The imagination is the playground of God.
  • What fear is God trying to eat away in your soul?
  • Dream. Risk. Create.

Louie Giglio, Pastor of Passion City Church and Lead Visionary of Passion Movement

  • God doesn’t call people to job descriptions. He calls them to Himself and His purpose in the world.
  • “Here am I, send me.” (main scripture reference)

John Maxwell, Leadership Expert

  • Success is about us, significance is about others.
  • To live a significant life, you must be intentional.
  • value people, believe in people and unconditionally love people.
  • You’re going to either read or write your own story. Be intentional, or something will write yours for you.
  • Move from good intentions to good actions.
  • Once you’ve listed significance, success will never satisfy.
  • Everyday:
    • Value people
      • Are we going to connect with people, or correct them?
    • Think of ways to add value to people.
      • Think on the front end, not on the back end.
      • Prepare or repair.
    • Look for ways to add value to people
      • Then evaluate your day, every day.
    • Do things that add value to people
      • You must act on your good intentions.
    • Encourage others to add value to people
      • Start a movement.

Christine Caine, Founder of The A21 Campaign, Propel and Author

  • It’s easy to ignore suffering when its nameless and faceless. (Genesis 50:20)
  • Numbers 13:1 (Sending spies to Canaan)
  • How you seem in your own eyes can also be how you look to others. (grasshoppers)
  • You can miss the miracles of God because of your perspective, even when you’re in the midst of it.
    • 10 people delayed a generation’s destiny.
    • Your perspective can shape the destiny of others.
  • God’s not obligated to finish what you start.
  • God wants to do amazing things. If you don’t want to be a part of it, get out of the way.
  • Joshua and Caleb weren’t any more gifted than the others, they just had more perspective and faith.
  • We need a world of hope and purpose, and that only comes through Christ.
  • The question is “how” we’ll take the land, not “if.”
  • Impossible is where God starts.
  • Do not limit God’s power by the size of your giant. They were holding the fruit, but focused on the giant.
  • If you are good enough, smart enough, or talented enough, you don’t need God anyway.
  • Some of you are praying for miracles, but refuse to put yourself in a situation where God will perform one.
    • We ask God for signs, wonders and miracles, but refuse to go into circumstances where we need them.
  • God’s promises are bigger than the problems.

Chris Brown, Nationally Syndicated Radio Host

  • Wonder often gets chucked out by familiarity, and distraction.
  • Gratitude is the key that unlocks wonder. We keep it with generosity.
  • As leaders, we should proactively create wonder in others.
  • “We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.” – Winston Churchill

Guy Kawasaki, Author, Chief Evangelist of Canva

  • Great innovation occurs when people decide to make meaning.
  • Make a mantra.
  • Jump the next curve.
  • Most orgs define themselves by what they currently do, it’s forward thinking we need.
  • Roll the dice.
    • Anticipate.
    • The best products are deep (multi-faceted) and intelligent and complete and empowering and elegant.
  • Don’t worry, be crappy.
    • It doesn’t have to be perfect. You’ll never finish.
  • Let 100 flowers blossom.
    • In the beginning, you can’t predict everything, including your audience.
  • Polarize people.
    • Great causes, churches, people, etc, polarize people. Not everyone’s going t like it. The worst case is that people don’t care.
  • Church, baby, churn.
    • There has to be a next version.
    • Then listen to the feedback.
  • Niche thyself (the key to marketing)
    • Be unique and add value
  • Perfect your pitch.
    • You have to sell it.
    • Customize your intro.
      • 10 slides is enough, 20 minutes, 30 point font with a black background
  • Don’t let the bozos grind you down.

Neil Blumenthal, Co-Founder and CEO of Warby Parker

  • Innovation often comes out of constraint.
  • Fail first.
  • De-risk the process in small steps.
  • Details are important.
  • Incremental progress.
  • Help others find their passion.
  • Help others identify their strengths.
  • Spur their creativity by setting expectations and constraints.
  • Innovation requires a deep examination of the problem
  • A million small steps lead to a big solution.

For my notes on Labs, click here.