Mental Post-Its

Thoughts, Notes, and General Mental Mayhem


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Book Review: Love Does by Bob Goff

screen-shot-2016-12-10-at-1-46-07-pmLet me just start by saying that Bob Goff, if you’re out there reading this right now, I’m looking for an adoptive grandparent. Just sayin’.

For those of you just joining us, this book has quickly moved into my favorites category in the realm of the written word. I listed to it, as per my usual, via Audible.com and was delighted to hear that Bob Goff does the reading as well. I really adored the whole thing; hung on his every word. It was too short, by the way. Need more! Perhaps a sequel…Love Does…More?

If you don’t know who Bob Goff is when I say his name, you may recall his story being included in Don Miller’s A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, another of my favorite books. Bob’s story was about the guy who helped his kids write letters to all the foreign dignitaries asking to come interview them. They received 29 yes answers and set off around the world as a family so the kids could interview these world leaders. At the end of the interview, the kids left the head of state with a key to come see them. My three sentence wrap up does it no justice, so go read it for yourself if you get the change. It’s a remarkable story. I cried and found it so inspiring. It is one of my all-time favorite stories, and it isn’t even about anyone I know! Anyway, that gives you just a glimpse of the type of guy Bob is.

Back to the book, Love Does, which is a pretty recent release and includes the same story along with many other amazing ones. I keep finding it funny that this guy is a lawyer by trade because he does so many uncharacteristically lawyerly things. He needs a TV show about his life and persona. Yes, he is a character.

The main theme of the book is about living with whimsy. He states that he doesn’t think people need more opportunities for whimsy in their life, they just need to recognize the ones that are readily available. He tells story after story about the ways he’s incorporated whimsy into his life, and consequently, the way his children, friends and family have caught the same vision.

There were two items the book instantly reminded me of when I started reading. The first is the movie Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium, which is a favorite of mine. It’s chock-full of whimsy and imagination. I identify with facets of each of the characters as they strive to reconcile their own degree of imagination within a very concrete world. Some days, the skies the limit like Mr. M himself. Some days, I feel a bit stuck like Molly. And then, yes, I do have a few days like the Mutant Accountant where everything is just as it seems, and the magic has left the building. But, in the end, they each find their own opportunity to invite whimsy in, and in doing so, find the best parts of themselves and others.

The second item the book reminded me of was the book Blink by Malcolm Gladwell. Isn’t he just fascinating? I don’t think I’m smart enough to be his real-life friend, but I’d like to try. I digress… Blink is basically about the thousands of things behind-the-scenes or in the past that allow you to make split second decisions when needed. And it talks about the cognitive factors involved. It’s really amazing, as are all his books. If you like sociology type stuff, he’s great to read. Anyway, there’s this chapter in Blink where he talks about improv, and that it’s a great case study for the subject matter of the book–“making sophisticated decisions spur of the moment.” He notes that improv isn’t chaotic and random, as those terrified of being asked to do it might seem, but instead it does follow a set of guidelines that are agreed up and rehearsed to an extent, before the actors take the stage. The most important rule for improv is agreement. Meaning, you say “yes” to whatever the situation and circumstance. You don’t stop, or block it. You catch it and move forward, as they said like basketball. “Good improvisors develop action,” said one of the performers from the group Mother in NYC. Malcolm pointed out that in real life, we tend to stop action. Probably 90% of us or more would never agree upon the first rule in the beginning, and therefore, improv becomes a type of stage performance rather than real life.

I think Love Does is an answer of sorts to what good improv could look like in real life. Allowing your mind to recognize whimsy is the first step. The second is the acceptance of it. The third is the action upon it. Oh, the places we’d go–Dr. Seuss would be proud! I know for those of you straight-laced sorts out there this probably sounds either silly or scarey, or a little of both. But I think it sounds exciting and adventurous. And really, who doesn’t need more of that? Whether we recognize it or not, we’d all do a little better with a bit more adventure.

One of my favorite trips was in college with my best friend, Heather. It was coming up on Memorial Weekend, I think, and it seemed like everyone we knew was headed out of town. We didn’t want to be left on campus by ourselves so we made the decision to leave for Colorado the next morning to go see a friend. We were really giddy, got to packing, and the next morning jumped in the car ready for the road ahead. As I started the engine, I eagerly asked, “Ok, so which way do we go?” Heather replied, “I don’t know. Do we have a map?” Love it! We just started laughing, and had to postpone our trip by about five minutes so we could Mapquest our way to Denver. But the excitement overtook us, and that is a delicious place to be. (The whole weekend was great, by the way.)

Even before reading this book, I’ve been influenced by this type of philosophy over the years through various avenues and people. I’m sort of prone to it, built for it, and sought out by it, though. I wish I had room here to tell all my stories of whimsy. There have a been a number of them, and even if all didn’t turn out the way I want, they make for great memories….and sometimes lessons learned.

But I realize not everyone is automatically cozy to the idea of whimsy. I say, just start small. Try one morsel before a big bite. I think you might get hooked. After all, calculated risk still involves risk. I know you can do it! Loosen those straight laces. I don’t think you’ll regret it. And if you do, it may just mean trying again. One fail doesn’t mean the whole project is a failure. It is worth letting some playfulness in.

I think Grandpa Bob just accentuates the fact that life is meant to be lived. Sure, there are responsibilities that you’ll still have to manage. But whimsy may just be five minutes in the beginning. You can still pay bills and get the laundry done and drive the kids to soccer. Bob Goff is a lawyer, nonprofit founder and Consul General to Uganda, for goodness sakes. If this man can take time for the whimsy, we all need to take a page out of his book. Literally, I’m taking the page with the kids writing world leaders. It taught me a lot.

Read this book. You’ll definitely laugh. Definitely cry. Also I hope you gain a wee bit more respect for whimsy and, in return, start a significant relationship with this little gem.

Just remember, I asked Bob to be my adoptive grandpa first.

 

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After Orange Conference

It’s been a looooooooonnnnnng week since we just wrapped OC12. I’m pretty pooped, so it’s been nice to be on the couch all day.

In case you missed my constant posting on Twitter and Facebook about it, our staffed gathered with over 5,000 church and ministry leaders to rethink the way the traditional church approaches family ministry. We aim to better partner the church with the home to influence the faith of the next generation. For info, check out our website. We’re even offering free curriculum trials through June.

I am a little anxious to see the surveys, but we’ve already received a lot of great feedback via emails and social media from attendees who said they had a great time and feel better equipped to go back to their church and community in order to make a difference. It’s always encouraging, despite the exhaustion, and this year was particularly great because several of my friends pitched in to volunteer. So it was nice to see the familiar and encouraging faces–kept me going when I started slowing down.

We’ll have a lot more pics in the upcoming weeks on the Orange Leaders Facebook page from the professional photographers, but here are just a few I took with my phone.

Ok, time to get a little sleep and then begin working on OC13!


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Me and 5,000 of My Closest Friends

It’s been a long couple of months. Honestly, I feel like like I’ve been in a haze. It’s just about “go time” for me with my job. The days have been long, the nights have been short, and the work has been steady, sometimes overwhelming. In my day gig, I’m the event marketing director at Orange. And most of my year, about 80% or more actually, is spent on The Orange Conference.

I can’t believe it, but we’re only 11 days away from hosting people at the Gwinnett Center in Duluth, Ga! Yep, just me and 5,000 of my closest friends gathering to learn and have a little fun. My company, Orange, will be bringing together church leaders from all over the world to rethink the traditional church model’s approach to family ministry. We are all about partnering the home and the church to work together to better influence the faith of the next generation. (Red represents the heart of the family and yellow represents the light of the church. Orange is a bridge.)

Sure, we’ve got some big names like Andy Stanley and Craig Groeschel coming, but usually the more exciting people to hobnob with are the people I haven’t heard of, and hearing stories from church leaders implementing the Orange Strategy in their context. It’s always touching to hear how our work is affecting local communities, as well as brainstorm, troubleshoot or simply listen to their stories. Some situations are the same, and many are different, but it’s cool to be on the journey with these churches as they minister to others. It makes the long work days with it.

We’re going to laugh a lot, and learn a lot. We’ll have hijinks and heartwarming moments. We’ll be more tired than we are now, but it’ll all be worth.

So if you aren’t busy April 25-27, make plans to join us. And if you’d like to come and serve as a volunteer, that’s available too. We’ll be glad to see you either way.

For more info, visit www.TheOrangeConference.com. Stay tuned for a recap!


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It is for freedom…

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. (Galatians 5:1 NIV)

I’m not a Bible scholar. It took me a number of years to figure out the first sentence in that verse. For a long time, I thought the author had cheated and used the word in the definition. And now I certainly don’t profess that I have it nailed down, but over the last few years I have greatly grown in my understanding and appreciation for this verse.

As I get older I learn more and more what true freedom is all about. I heard a brilliant sermon many moons back where the speaker gave freedom in Christ this definition…it’s not the freedom to do anything you like. It’s the freedom to do anything you like under God’s law. You’ve already chosen God’s will and authority to guide your life, and you continue to choose to maneuver within it…or something like that but probably more poetic. The point is that your freedom has already been given to you. You decide what to do with it. So what will you do with it?

I’ve always had a special burden and ache in my heart for people groups who were oppressed, without freedom. I’m not sure exactly why; I guess it’s just the way God made me. I’d consider myself fiercely independent, so maybe the thought of losing that is too much to consider, or stand for. The Jews, Civil Rights, and modern-day slavery–it all just hits me in a way a lot of other atrocities don’t. It fascinates and confuses me. It makes me not only balk at the injustices that people can inflict or turn their eyes from, it constantly asks me what I would do; what I will do.

Over the last few months I’ve been studying Esther with my friend, Lauren. We’ve been going through Beth Moore’s study on Queen Esther, It’s Tough Being a Woman. Truthfully, I know this statement is borderline blasphemy, but I really don’t care for Beth Moore’s style. I’d tried one of her studies before and couldn’t even finish it. If Lauren hadn’t suggested it, I never would’ve opened it with that title. It’s just not for me. But I thought the overall content was really good, and I’ve taken away a lot of insight in the process. And it’s given me greater context for Esther’s story and the circumstances of the Jews at that time.

One of things I’ve been reminded of over and over again is that the Jews had assimilated into the culture. They were no longer living as Jews, God’s chosen people who were set apart. It was not until they were threatened with extinction did they kneel back down to pray. I don’t want to be like that, but darn it if that doesn’t describe me too much of the time. So, I ask myself, if I were living as a Jew at that time, would I be any different?

I also recently watched the movie Amistad. I don’t know how I’m just watching it. I should be ashamed. It was amazing. Nonetheless, yet again I’m presented with and captivated by a people who are oppressed, slaves. And there were bold and courageous people fighting on their side. So, I ask myself, if I were living at that time, what would I do?

But one thing I forget time and time again is that I have been a slave. Certainly not publicly oppressed or scoffed as the these people were, and as some people today are, but I was a slave to sin before I gave my life to Christ. Just as the Jews in Esther’s day, there is too much of life I’ve assimilated into when the truth is that I need to live more as a freed slave. My life of a slave is over, but it’s never to be forgotten.

The Jews had Purim, a time to annually remember the time God saved them from annihilation. And they partied. They still party. It’s a feast and festival, and time of joyful remembrance. And I have Easter, a day that marks not just the sacrifice, but the triumph over Hell with Jesus’ resurrection. Now that’s party worthy! I should be having that party every day in some way!

I know because I grew up as part of the church, which I’m thankful for, I have a great tendency to desensitize the Bible and my salvation. Like all things that aren’t new, and I love new things, I kinda forget how special they are. I kinda just take them for granted. I kinda just assimilate them into my life and move on, looking for the next shiny object to grab my attention.

There is a really powerful courtroom scene in Amistand where the highly underrated and always brilliant Djimon Honsou stands up and pleads to the court in the few words of English he’s learned in prison, “Give us, us freedom!” And he says it over and over again. (I balled like a baby. I’ve got to admit that there are times I’m just not in a good place and inside I’m yelling “Give us, us freedom!” I’m so confused and upset with God that I just don’t understand why I’m in a situation. But the truth is, I’m already a freed slave. My freedom has already been given. But how do I thank Him? How do I live? Why do I keep forgetting?

So I ask myself again, given what I know and who I am (a freed slave), what will I do?

I’ve decided that I will be a freed slave who works to free other slaves. As a Christian, I believe all freed slaves should be working to free others, both spiritually and physically. And I think we should assimilate less, and have Jesus parties a lot more.

Here’s a sweet retelling of Christ’s story from Amistad. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uFmFX5nug4w

And he’s right, it doesn’t look so bad. In fact, it’ll be awesome. So, I need to make sure others are at the party.

After all, it is for freedom that I have been set free.

Free the slaves.


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Book Review: The Five Love Languages

screen-shot-2016-12-10-at-2-13-43-pmI know a lot of people don’t like personality profiles and similar tests than analyze the psyche, but I love them. I don’t know exactly why, but I think it’s fascinating that a few questions can shed such detailed insight onto my thoughts, habits and character. I read through my results each time and think, “Yes! That’s me!” Over the last couple of months, I’ve been re-reading The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. It’s been years since I’ve read it and taken the quiz, and when my friend, Fabi, suggested reading it together, I was interested to see how/if I’ve changed since the last time. I always find it intriguing that results on any profile tend to reflect our circumstances and periodically change over the years. It’s a marvel to see how we as humans can adapt. God is pretty incredible in His design that way.

If you aren’t familiar with the book, love languages are how you primarily receive and express love. There are five categories that Dr. Chapman has outlined: Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Acts of Service, Quality Time and Physical Touch. A brief synopsis for them is given on the website. Of course, most everyone utilizes more than one of these languages to indicate and/or feel love at any time, but each person has a primary one to which they default. I’ve been racking my brain, trying to remember what my test showed the first time, but this go ’round, my results showed as Receiving Gifts, Words of Affirmation and Quality Time. Actually, each of those three was only one apart (10, 9, 8) which I thought was interesting. The other two were much lower. I remember Quality Time and Receiving Gifts as high before, but not sure I scored the same or not. Guess right now I’m just not one for Acts of Service or Physical Touch. Maybe it’s because I’m single. Dunno. No real answers there.

One of the most interesting facets of human beings is our limited perspective, despite our best efforts. I strive to be pretty aware in life but I find myself drifting back here, too. And I thought about this subject again as I read through the book. Despite deeply knowing those closest to us, unless we go to great lengths to remind ourselves, we will always tend to give love how we choose to receive it. We typically assume everyone likes getting gifts because we do. I don’t know why, but I think that’s kind of funny. We are most often self-centered, even with the best intentions. I have been trying to identify the primary love language of those closest to me in order to communicate better that I love them. I’ve got a long way to go, but hey, at least I’m thinking about it!

Maybe it’s something to work on more in 2012. Maybe it’s my latest fad. Maybe it’s just a really good book. Maybe it was a way to connect to my friend. Maybe I created this blog unknowingly as a gift to you. Ha–pretty self-centered, huh!  😉

Always questions and rarely answers. Ain’t life grand!

Regardless, enjoy and comment. Let me know your love language and help me remember it when I’m with you next. Don’t know yours? Take the quiz online and get back to me.

 

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